everything you do is a balloon.

2012-01-18T10:50:00.000-08:00

montreal winters....

a farewell to the MEMB.

2011-10-04T13:18:00.000-07:00

it just dawned on me that very very soon i will no longer have to see coco, slopp, SmArM, and various other members of the mile end mediocrity brigade. i mean, i don't see them much now, but they are still inserted squarely into my life. that will soon be changing. thank fuck.

it amazes me that they had her in their lives and just dropped the ball. like most of us, she is far from perfect - but goddamn she is a caring, loving, bundle of joy. she named their living space which they took for their 'record label' and probably don't even remember. they probably don't even recall that it was her idea for coco to do a cover of the whole fleetwood mac album 'tango in the night' that he is 'working' on. goddamn, she brought a freshness and honesty to their desperate little world.

exit stage left. soon she will depart. the jealous one will be happy, the smarmy one will not care, and the dumb one will continue his descent into unhappiness at a much faster pace now.

am i glad i met them? yes. i had some damn good times. even though i was aware of their desperation while having those damn good times, i had hope for them as people. as human beings. i got to know kid who was happy and an incredible musician. i saw all the potential he had before his sadness swallowed him up and his friends stood by and pretended not to notice. i met some lovely people. of course i met her. i met nai. i met thomson. i met dan. all brilliant and strange and lovely people. all curious beings doing their best.

anyway, it is over. the last manipulations and lies from a week or so ago were the end of the shit blizzard. everything is lovely and calm be beautiful now. we get to begin again.

good fucking bye #memb!!!!!

ALIGHT/ALONE

2011-08-25T08:40:00.000-07:00

ALIGHT/ALONE [EDIT]
this was the second 'single' to be released by taperecorder (via galactique recordings). this is the version of alight/alone we used for the video. we just edited out the first part of the song. which i sorta didn't want to do - but i had this feeling impatient 'important' people in the music world were not getting to the payoff in the song. it also made the work for the video easier.

HOBO
i made a mix for the bi-monthly galactique dj mix release. i was looking for something to bridge two songs. i wanted a dancer. i decided i would make something to fill in the space. i ended up doing something better. i made hobo. it took me an hour and i think it is one of my favourite songs i have ever made. i left it how it was for the dj mix. later on i found an old video of a hobo who rode the rails. he said some interesting things. i could relate to him a lot. so i sampled him and added it to the song. i figured that this song would end up sitting around forever without a home if i didn't release it soon, so included it in this single.

ALIGHT/ALONE [JAMES APOLLO COVER]
one drunken night in seattle i found myself walking along some old railroad tracks with my pal james apollo. we were carrying old wooden pallets so we could build beds out of them. i was passing out every night in my sleeping on a bamboo mat on a concrete floor in his basement. he was in the middle of a breakup and that was all he had to offer. he was sleeping on the same thing in the next room. anyway, we often talked about collaborating on some music together that week. it took a whole year before anything ever happened. i kept randomly nagging him. finally, i sent him alight/alone and asked him to cover it. within a week he sent me back this beautiful cover.

COLD SPRING

2011-08-25T07:00:00.000-07:00

COLD SPRING [EXTENDED]
this was the first 'single' to be released by taperecorder (via galactique recordings). it has an extended version of cold spring which was something i would sort of do live. go from a poppy little song into something more sinister and techno. i liked doing that. it balanced out the happy. i figured it might be fun to have this on there rather than just the original version.

DON'T FORGET TO WRITE [FT. RAE SPOON]
this is the version of don't forget to write that rae spoon sang on. the arrangement is also different than the album version.

COLDSPRING [FT. RAE SPOON]
this is the version i collaborated on with rae spoon. i loved the different approach to it vocally, but it wasn't how i had heard the song in my head. jeffro (an old pal and the guy i work with in the studio) has always said he regrets not re-recording the guitar parts for this version. just to give it a different feel. ah well,what are you gonna do?

JUST RAMBLE & THINK OF GHOSTS

2011-08-23T08:50:00.000-07:00

-side B-

MEET ME IN MONTAUK
this was another old mossyrock song slated for that never fully realized album which i salvaged and turned into a taperecorder song. i remember how this one first came about. DP was fucking around with sounds that i had made and stored in my sample bank. she was playing with this bell sound. a little earlier i had done something strange with this echo effect but wasn't really into the end result. i asked her to move so i could try something. i ran the bells thru that effect and soon came up with the main part of the song. i did some layering and arranging of the sound before coming up with a great little beat to put under it. the beats were nice and squelchy and had that glitchy feel i was getting into. anyway, i sat on it for a while and when i listened to it again i felt like the sound was too pretty to be constantly overtaken by the beat. i tried letting the song build from nothing into the beat part but then was struck with the thought that it might work better the other way; have the beats disappear a third of the way into it. it worked! i played with some filters and slowly ran it over the whole mix to give the end part a little bit of swag. it was done. or so i thought. it sat around for a while, looking for a home. we had released a couple of EPs that it didn't make sense on so we figured we'd put it on the new album we were working towards. in the meantime i was asked by chloe harris to make a mixtape for her radio show. i made it and used a bunch of number stations recordings (mysterious shortwave radio stations of uncertain origin believed to be operated by government agencies) as interludes. one of them was used over the end of 'meet me in montauk' and i could never hear the song the same way without it. so for JUST RAMBLE & THINK OF GHOSTS it was added to the final mix of the song. oh, and as much as the song shares its name with something that someone in eternal sunshine says, it came about before that movie was released!

DON'T FORGET TO WRITE
just a short little pop song. the original idea i had was to layer rae spoon singing the words 'don't forget to write' over top of warbly guitars and woozy bouncing beats. i wanted to do something similar with the vocals that i had done with the guitar and mandolin on gatineau. i wanted there to be just hints and blips and glitchy parts of rae's voice building until the full vocals came together at the end. i think i came close. the thing is, after deciding on using the bethany version of 'cold spring' for the album; also planning on using 'on the wall' which bethany sang on; and finally having to use bethany for 'denmark' because rae wouldn't sing the one line: it was starting to seem that it might make more sense and be more cohesive if just had bethany sing on 'don't forget to write' also. so she came down and when i played her (a different arrangement of) the song, bethany pulled out her little book of words and started singing what became the words for the song. she changed a little bit to the title of the song and presto: we were done! just a quick note on the recording of bethany singing; we tended to use two of the best takes and pan them hard right and hard left. giving it a really nice stereo effect. i tried this with some other singers and never quite ended up with the same full sound. dunno why. anyway, the rae spoon version appears on the single for cold spring. i pretty much like them both equally!

ALIGHT/ALONE
i had the idea in mind for 'JUST RAMBLE & THINK OF GHOSTS' for a while before it came together. i wanted to release something on vinyl. i wanted it to be guitary and organic sounding and electronic and vocals all coming together. i had been trying to find one more song to pull the whole thing together. i had fragments of the second part of 'alight/alone' laying around but for some reason just couldn't make it come together properly. while taking the amtrak adirondak back from montreal to new york (a lovely but long 12 hour train ride along lake champlain and the hudson river) i was fucking around with a different song (inspired by a visit from a certain girl from montreal) and realized it shared a lot of things with what became the second half of alight/alone. i began combining the parts and tweaking things here and there. moving parts around. suddenly i had a song. sure it kinda sounded like two songs combined, but it was certainly a whole piece. it still needed some lyrics though, and i was going into the studio within a few days and had no time to go drink booze at the levee to help me come up with some words. a certain sweetheart of a girl i knew had shown me something she had written which contained one of the most beautiful phrases i'd ever read: "mapping a new familiar". i asked her if we could use her words for the lyrics and thankfully she said yes! bethany sang it perfectly. she changed the melody i had in mind a little bit and of course it was way better than what i had come up with. the song was done and i think it fit the album so perfectly. we released an edited version (which was made for the video) and james apollo did an absolutely incredible cover of it using an old four track recorder. i still get goosebumps when i hear what he did with it. they both appear on the single for 'alight/alone'.

ON THE WALL
this is a cover of the demo version of 'on the wall' by the jesus and mary chain. i always loved the faster demo version which i first heard on the darklands 7". anyway, i had figured this was a simple little song we could cover that might actually suit the singer of mossyrock (DPs) voice. i laid out the drums and kept asking and asking DP to find some time to do the vocals. she never ever seemed to be able (or willing) to find the time. in fact, she never ever seemed interested. one time bethany was over (she was living about 2 hours away now in allentown). i was pretty sick with a cold and feeling really worn out. it was winter and brutally cold out. we stayed in and kept recording bits of this song late into the night. she laid out 4 or 5 different guitar tracks on top of one another. then i recorded the bassline. it was one of those simple but badass basslines. then we recorded her vocals. we finished up around 6am so excited about what we had just done. we woke up late the next day and played it back. we were both absolutely happy with it. a few tweaks here and there and we were done! i remember playing it for DP and she was pissed that we had recorded it without her. i think she was more mad at herself but was taking it out on us. anyway, we put it aside and were planning to include it on the unrealized mossyrock album. when i was putting together 'just ramble & think of ghosts' i simply lifted it and re-eq'd it. it was a perfect fit and perfect end to the album.

i always saw 'just ramble & think of ghosts' as a guitar based electronic music album and i had always imagined it being released as vinyl record. at one point i started planning on releasing a vinyl version of the album and a digital version of it. the digital version would be more electronic, have alternate takes, and some new songs on it. we had actually recorded a lot of those songs. the more we recorded though, it became obvious that those songs were becoming their own thing. becoming their own album. i was contemplating releasing the 'ghosts' album in may and the other songs on an album called 'the devil is a busy man' in june. i even went as far as recording the first tones you hear from the opening song on 'the devil is a busy man' (a song called zesty mordant) and including it as a lockgroove at the end of the vinyl version of the album. as time and money dwindled and the big european tour was fast approaching i abandoned those ideas and shelved 'devil'. ooh, also: i got the name of the album from david lynch. rus tamblyn (who played dr jacoby on twin peaks) tells the story of how he asked david what he wanted to him do in a certain scene and david quietly replied 'just ramble and think of ghosts'.

JUST RAMBLE & THINK OF GHOSTS

2011-08-20T11:55:00.000-07:00

-side A-

GATINEAU
most of this song was recorded along the gatineau river just north of ottawa in quebec. i was lucky enough to find myself in an old summer cabin that had the historic hull-chelsea-wakefield steam train cross right through the property twice a day. you can hear sounds i sampled from it (the steam from the train, a whistle, and the train chugging along the tracks). i made a drum track and then recorded a guitar part and mandolin part over it. then i went in reverse taking pieces of it away. i wanted it to sound like the random glitchy bits at the start build slowly into full guitar/mandolin parts. a few weeks later back in my apartment in brooklyn, james apollo came over with a broken banjo and played some notes over top and it was done. there were a few of songs originally slated to be released by mossyrock way way back before we broke up. some songs i had made for our unrealized album were reworked, retooled, and remixed for JUST RAMBLE & THINK OF GHOSTS. gatineau was one of them.

COLD SPRING
cold spring new york is a small town about an hour train ride north of new york city. it is a great little escape from city life with tons of hiking trails and whatnot. i came home from there one night and recorded that wonderfully retarded little guitar hook. i put a cheesy beat behind it and then forgot all about it. a month later while touring with mossyrock i decided to do a soundcheck song with it and saw everyone in the bar nod along. the next day after a crazy drive from vienna to prague i went off by myself and fleshed it out. i was dating the singer of mossyrock at this time (a definite NO NO) and a few days later she came up with some lyrics that i found to be really annoying but figured they'd do for now. i suggested we get some ooh ooh's in there and bethany immediately came up with the chorus. after the tour our relationship was definitely over as well as mossyrock. we broke up. a good few months later i started working on moving all the unreleased and unfinished stuff i liked from mossyrock over to taperecorder. cold spring was one of the songs i wanted to finish. i contacted rae spoon who i was fond of working with and file shared the song. rae only had a few days to record it before heading to yellowknife for a few months so i had to get lyrics together quickly. one ridiculously drunken night turned into morning as the sun came up and i sat in my kitchen; i took the lyrics that DP (the singer) had come up with and changed them into something more personal. a little fuck you to her. i was drunk as hell and sent them of to rae. i really did like what rae spoon came up with and sent back to me, and even released that version (on the 'cold spring' single), but it wasn't quite what i heard in my head. so i called up former mossyrock guitarist bethany and asked her to come down and record. i remember her asking 'how do you want me to sing this? the lyrics are kind of sad." i replied "i want it to sound like a total happy pop song". she nailed it on the first take.

EVERGREEN
hmmm. this one is a hard one. i had this feeling. i can't describe the feeling. sort of lonesome; sort of lovestruck; sort of yearning. maybe? anyway, i'll start with how i made the song instead of where it came from. i took some guitar playing that bethany had done. some outtakes from mossyrock stuff. i looped bits and rearranged and layered the hell out of it. soon i had this thick lush textured sound. at one point i literally listened to that loop for over an hour. hearing brand new sounds emerge from in between the sound i had made. whatever the feeling was i had captured it. 100%! from there i laid it out into a two and a half minute song. slowly tweaking the main guitar-cum-pad sound and even slowly adding a few new layers to it as the song progressed. i added some blips of bethany vocals to it. i recorded me using an old egg shaker. i added a drum kick from my old shitty groovebox. then i added a bassline from my wonky old bass guitar. then some glockenspiel. et voila. i had my song. some people really don't get it and that is ok. my mum said it sounds like the record is skipping. other people have told me it is their favourite. either way, i love it. it is one of my oldest taperecorder songs. made before all the previously released stuff. it was originally going to be a mossyrock song (and i think first appeared on a tour only EP at some point) but it didn't see a proper release until JUST RAMBLE & THINK OF GHOSTS. there are a few version of the song now. there is sort of a prequel to it called nevergreen (which can be found on 'THE DEVIL IS A BUSY MAN' and the 'evergreen [full on]' EP. there is also a version where some vocals by toof appear at the end (from the 'evergreen [full on]' EP), and a remix from quebecois boy beeker (also on the 'evergreen [full on]' EP).

DENMARK
i wrote the lyrics for this while sitting at one of my favourite bars in brooklyn (the levee). i was feeling strange and lonesome yet didn't really want to be around anyone. it took me a lot of time to write them. like, 10 or 11 visits. which is funny because they don't even seem that great. i drank many a $4 shot and beer (known as a 'sportsman') while coming up with them. the song itself came about when i decided i really wanted to make another guitar song with the guitar bits rearranged. i had done this with a song by mossyrock called 'rain dries & clouds form'. i liked the warbly guitar. it was obviously a guitar but it sounded glitchy. i had been playing around with the chords i used for a few years but never in any sort of serious way. so i recorded them, looped them, and then offset the samples. i was really happy with the end result. rae spoon was going to sing this one originally but objected to the lyrics 'getting fat on my own fear'. i guess rae would have been polarized by the LBGT community for using thew word fat. even if it was just a metaphor. oh well, bethany nailed it. sometime later i asked jenn mierau to record a cover of it for the evergreen [full on] EP and she gave me a beautiful yet spooky stripped down cover that used only a wurlitzer and her voice. i think what she did is absolutely amazing. i should also point out that the song denmark by ocean blue and a magical week i spent in copenhagan played a big role in the naming of this song.

-side b to follow-

THE LUNCHBOX EP

2011-07-26T11:45:00.000-07:00

ZESTY BANG BANG (A LOVE SONG IN THREE PARTS)
the LUNCHBOX EP was my way of trying to inject some humour into my music. zesty bang bang was me just fucking around with zesty mordant. i had performed out at soundwave on vancouver island and played a pretty great time slot where the crowd was going off. so i improvised and turned the mild mannered and moody zesty mordant into a lush textured house song. when i went back to it later i decided to flesh it out. it soon sort of turned into a song comprised of three different parts. i changed the name slightly and then added the 'love song in three parts' bit because i thought it sounded silly.

TWO MINUTE HOUSE SONG (ANTONS DUTY)
this is exactly what the title implies. actually i think it is 2 and a half minutes long. this was one of those songs i made during a brutally cold january in berlin. you can hear bits of anton newcombe drunkenly yelling after a scuffle at 8mm bar. my friend tom and i ended up hanging out, working on music, and getting wasted with him for a few days. i lost when we played 'don't sink the european union' (a game involving a glass of whiskey, lot's of cigarette ash, and a dirty old €2 coin). so all this nonsense kinda went into the vibe of the song. a fun little rowdy house song.

ONE NIGHT STAND-OFF (FT VER6)
i have this friend who is pretty great and goddamn rowdy. i knew her for a few years but once i returned from berlin we had this lovely little torrid two month affair. she was just out of a long relationship as was i. she was moving back to texas and so we decided to make everything over the next two months be just about some nice and easy hanging out, partying like crazy, and some good old fashioned booty calls. she would text me at eleven o'clock at night, right around when i was wrapping up some tour booking, and ask me to meet her at a random bar. which i would. then i would get home when the sun was coming up. it was a lovely, fun, and much needed sleepless two months. one night though, everything turned a bit sour. well, more like crazy fucking insane sour. this was about a day or two before she was going home. we are still friends now but that was the end of our two lovely months. anyway, i tried to make a fun rowdy song out of those times and came up with something i thought was mostly good. the thing was, i couldn't quite finish it. i was on the road performing, my final EP in the 'box trilogy' had a release date that was only a few days away, and i had planned for this to be the third song on it. luckily, i happened to be playing in montreal and hanging out with ver6 and told him that i wasn't happy with my unfinished third song and told him what i was trying to do with it. he asked me for the tracks and and hour later handed me an ending. he nailed it. if you listen at about the 2/3rds point you can hear where his part comes in and everything goes off kilter. that pretty much summed up those lovely two months and how they ended. i wonder whatever happened to ver6? he was a pretty cool guy...

the LUNCHBOX EP was released by galactique on june 15th 2009. it completed the little 'box trilogy' but also was kind of the starting point to me taking taperecorder on full time. mossyrock had broken up after the 2008 autumn european tour (well not officially - it took about five months of not hanging out with no one really talking about any future plans before breaking up 'officially') and i had spent six weeks in berlin just writing new music and celebrating life. i knew in my heart mossyrock was over and had put so much time and energy into it that i was pretty bummed out after the tour. so i went to berlin to get away from music and somehow the opposite happened! it renewed my love for writing music and gave me a total new direction. somewhere in between getting home from berlin and releasing this EP i had booked a festival tour circuit and a bunch of club shows in canada for taperecorder. i guess that was the kind of the beginning...

CASSETTE TAPES

2011-07-26T11:33:00.000-07:00

i am not going to write about each song here. this whole idea came about while getting paid to make 30 second songs. i was paid a hundred dollars a month (for a year) to come up with ten 30 second songs using a specific bank of samples made by this small company from nashville. it was super easy and actually fun. there were a few that i liked and thought of turning into full songs. in the end though, they kind had little lives of their own even though they clocked in at well under 45 seconds. i had the idea that it might be fun to get some people to remix them and give them a rule that it cannot be over one minute in length. so i asked them! pretty much everyone but daedelus and ninjasonik came thru (although ninjasonik more than made up for it by making a song for the galactique diamond dick album that i helped spearhead). anyway, this was the result. it is more of an experiment than an album really. to tell you the truth i am not really sure why i called it cassette tapes...

cassette tapes was release via galactique recordings on september 15th 2008. it is probably somewhere on the galactique site but i prefer to keep this one quiet. i like it, but like i said, it is just a weird little experiment...

THE BOOMBOX EP

2011-07-26T10:35:00.000-07:00

so the basic idea for this whole EP (sonically) began earlier with a song i made called 'evergreen' (which wasn't released until after the BOOMBOX EP came out). for evergreen i had taken guitar bits that bethany spiers did for mossyrock and layered, rearranged, and tweaked them. i made the guitar bits sound like lush pads and keyboard stabs. anyway, like i said, i took a similar approach to the songs on the BOOMBOX EP.

JAGTVEG 69
i started this one first. i was in copenhagan after a mossyrock UK/european tour had ended. i was staying over there and wandering around for a while afterwards. i found myself with this lovely strange feeling that was a mix of being excited about my adventure, alone in the world, and missing a girl. it was topped with a weird lonesomeness. i decided that i wanted to try and capture all those feelings and i basically came up with these textures. when i wasn't working on music i had been noticing the number 69 written and spray painted all over the city. it turns out 69 jagtvej was the former home to a youth house (ungdomshuset) where all the punks, squatter, anarchist, and weirdo kids would hang out and see bands and other shows. they had been there for 25 years before a right wing christian woman bought the house and had it torn down (after some extremely violent conflicts). years later there was still nothing built on the empty lot. anyway, the layout of the song came together when i arrived in berlin and jagtvej 69 became the perfect title for it.

RYESGADE 58
while still in berlin i started playing around and making more of those pad sounds. it came together in a similar way to the song above and to evergreen. when i had learned about the youth house (mentioned above) i had also learned about the squat called ryesgade 58. i was pretty moved by their punk rock fuck you this is our home and the nine-day series of street fights they had with the police (in mid-september 1986). they stood their ground and fought for what they believed in. anyway, this time i built the song and sequenced the majority of it while on a train from berlin to amsterdam. it was a gorgeous train ride that followed on the heels of an epic berlin style few nights out. i think i managed to get that same sort of feeling that i captured with jagtvej 69 but this time with a bit more hope and joy. i made a video out of footage i had found taken of the battle of ryesgade. you can watch it here: ryesgade 58

SANG SEKS
this song is somewhat of an afterthought. i wanted to somehow connect the danciness of the first EP with this more textured EP. so i came up with the idea of making a slightly more beat driven version of the songs above. i basically rearranged sounds and tempos and took away some of the moodiness. i also figured that calling it song six was another connection. song six in danish is sang seks.

the BOOMBOX EP was released on july 15th 2008 via galactique recordings. i kinda thought it would be fun to release this EP with the word box in it also. boombox just kinda sounds great when it rolls off your tongue. it also planted the seed for having one more and making a little 'box trilogy'.

THE JUICEBOX EP

2011-07-26T09:56:00.000-07:00

SONG ONE
this is a strange EP in the whole taperecorder catalogue. mossyrock was still going strong and we were playing all over the UK and north america and things were still really good. i felt like i needed a side project to let out some of the music that didn't fit the whole 'electronic indie folk pop' stylings of mossyrock. this was the first really electronic dance song i had made since my old project (i.f.f. aka intergalactic faerie funk) had folded a few years back. anyway, this was the first song, hence the title 'song one'.

GIN TIME
i wanted to make something super fucking glitchy. and i did! i first started this one in berlin while staying with minimal techno legend someone else (aka sean o'neal). we were friends from way back in the philly days. anyway, i was surrounded by nightlife and techno and famous electronic musicians and i wanted to give it a go. this was the result. also, gin time was a phrase my gay uncle loved to use. there was no set time for gin time, it was just whenever he felt like having a cocktail.

EXITING EMPIRES
same sort of story as above. i wanted to make something a little bit more moody this time though. i was listening to a lot of andrew bird. he had a song called 'scythian empire' that i loved and there was a line in the song that said:

"and now they're offering views of exiting empires
such breathtaking views of scythian empires"

the andrew bird song came out during the heyday of the bush jr years and the two wars and the general feeling of no hope and it resonated deeply with me. i can honestly say that those deep dark years of living in the u.s.a were rough. in fact i had actually gone over to europe and was staying with sean just to take a break from living in america. anyway, this is the song and even though it is dark and groovy and grimey, i still feel sort of sad when i hear it.

the JUICEBOX EP was released on march 15th 2008 (via galactique recordings). it clocks in as the longest of taperecorder EPs at a whopping 20 minutes and 18 seconds. the name came about simply because i was drinking loads of these weird german juice boxes while in berlin. hahahaa. yup, that's it.

happy

2011-06-18T23:46:00.000-07:00

i married my best friend.

soundwave r.i.p.

2011-05-08T12:47:00.000-07:00

for the last five years i haven taken a journey from my house to subway to airtrain to aeroplane to rental car to ferry boat to an island. i then crossed the island via the most beautiful drive in the world (stopping only to throw myself in a gorgeous deep cold lake) which led me to a logging road which led me to a small little campsite on the edge of the earth.

a festival on the ocean and in a rainforest. a festival filled with some pretty amazing people.

-

sadly, the festival once known as soundwave, is no more.

what will i do with myself this summer? it was the highlight of performing for me. every time i played out there i just couldn't believe that i was brought out there and was being paid for it. i have played many festivals and my music making has brought me to many beautiful locations. there was just something so special about soundwave though. it was fucking magical.

i am equal parts sad and happy. sad obviously because it is over. happy because i was allowed in on a little secret that only a few thousand people on the planet shared.

thank you soundwave.
-taperecorder

night

2011-04-03T22:03:00.000-07:00

brooklyn. april 4th. 1am.

a late night walk.
the smell of rain and concrete.
the sound of tap tap tap from my dogs feet.
the lovely quiet of late night sunday.
a plane off in the distance.
a girl all the way north.

a text

2011-02-23T09:09:00.000-08:00

From:
5125360527
I'm thinking about us. We might still have a chance to take over the world.
Received:
Thu, Apr 23 2009
8:10pm

the villa

2011-02-20T21:40:00.001-08:00

we are the villa? seriously? wow.
biggest fuck you ever.

valentines day

2011-02-15T08:02:00.000-08:00

i feel like i have been thru the ringer lately. in a good way. physically. i spent three days working with an artist called warren neidich. it was one of the hardest jobs i've had in a long time. it was also filthy. there was a good crew of four guys there along with him and his wife/lover/girlfriend (not sure which of those she was but she was great). we spent the whole time on the third floor of a filthy, cold, concrete, and metal storage unit in long island city queens. he is moving to california and we went thru 20 years of his art, other peoples art, original eames furniture (some which were among the first that rolled off the production line!), sculptures, and millions of boxes of other things. anyway, the pay was great, he was cool, she was lovely, and i made some fun new friends. after the last day we all went to the levee and got drunk and had fun. i slept until after noon on monday and when i woke up it was valentines day. my love lives in another country so i spent it mostly alone (thanks fuck for g-chat!) and took myself to lodge for a breakfast/dinner.

anyway, the rest of the night was really really lovely. everything was sort of surreal and dreamy. i took a walk and people seemed to be slowed down, even strolling, which is not really what people in new york city do. the sky was a deep dark bluish black with a half moon and big lazy rolly polly clouds passing by. something about that night sky meeting and blending with the orange city light was just courageous and exaggerated. there was a reminder in it. i found myself wanting to be where people are and celebrate this incredible night. soak in this beautiful world with someone. not even really saying anything, just living it.

yellow

2011-02-09T13:40:00.000-08:00

the new james blake album kinda sounds like coldplay.

fairness

2011-02-09T13:36:00.001-08:00

today was a big day.
my remix of nijasonik came out on RCRD LBL.
and just like that - all the joy is gone.
he took that away from me too...

words

2011-02-07T18:57:00.000-08:00

goddamn my girl can write....

"When a ruddy-cheeked vagabond soundsmith offered me forever on a chipped china plate;"

house music

2011-01-29T09:50:00.001-08:00

music scenes are funny.

i have been playing house music for years. literally over a decade. even closer to two. at some point i started making more choppy uppy and guitar loops that don't sound like guitar loops kind of music. probably because i found it more interesting at the time. i was just moving along and changing sounds and tweaks and blips but for some reason, way under it all, my one constant was house music. it always has been. i used to write the music for i.f.f. (intergalactic faerie funk). which was mostly me making house music for these crazy parties we threw in philly. when i started playing live i accidentally added more people to the line up and soon we were playing house music all over north america. from clubs to festivals to full on raves. anyway, like i said, at some point i moved away from it. music scenes changed. and for some reason house started receiving a bad name. it was a dirty word. i had some friends from montreal who made electronic music and i couldn't for the life of me get them to listen to or even remotely appreciate house music. my label partner was the worst. we would literally leave parties because he would mope around with his fuss face complaining about the house music they were playing. i understand that there is a lot of bad house out there. bad eurocheese and the like. but isn't that obvious? do we compare the beatles to creed when we talk about rock n roll? anyway, all the kids up in montreal were into really glitchy warp stuff and people who were making post autechre squarepushery music. but more hip hop based. they liked the luckyme lable a lot. hudson mohawk and lunice and rustie. the funny thing is, that luckyme just recently released a really great house music EP and single by someone named jacques greene. suddenly it was ok for them to like house music. luckyme said so! while i like the record quite a lot, it is nothing i haven't heard before or tried playing for them before. if it were to be released on any other label, any house based label, not one of these kids would have given it a listen. nor wanted to.

so strange. i don't get it?

i guess if it gets more people appreciating house then it can't be a bad thing. anyway, take a listen. good house song. the vocals are pitched up like super early rave music and he uses a roland 303. i think the term retro might even apply. here it is: baby i don't know by jacques greene.

leadbelly

2011-01-29T09:00:00.000-08:00

nothing like waking up to two disappointing emails in a row.

one from someone i have never really liked accusing me of something i never really did. the other was a rejection from something i applied to because the proper info wasn't filled out when they looked at it.

random thoughts are swirling...

i wonder how much time i waste in my life? i wonder when i will learn that when people say they want to help, while they usually mean it, they ultimately won't. i wish i never let myself get sucked into that sad little crowd. they stole something important from me. they stole the magic held by one of my favourite cities.

i dunno. i don't fucking know.

listening to leadbelly is helping.

68

2011-01-28T20:11:00.001-08:00

wintery fields and blustery snow.
the rivers are frozen and the trees are skeletons.
chugging along towards the border. and then america.
along the sheer cliffs of the upper lake champlain.
then inland.
thru woods. stopping occasionally at small towns and tiny depots.
back along the champlain. this time beside the water.
passing by bald eagles. passing by ice fishermen.
more tiny stops. more beautiful views.
to albany and past.
along the hudson and her tiny towns.
cold spring.
peekskill.
brooklyn bound.

BEST OF 2010

2010-12-31T12:35:00.000-08:00

best place to wake up on the first day of 2010:
trey d'amico's (aka toof) floor in austin texas

favourite pair of socks in 2010:
my yellow argyle socks.

best cups of coffee in 2010:
5 cent cups of coffee at wall drug. only because they were 5 cents. i also enjoyed the hell out of the coffee they served at soundwave. especially on the sunday after the crazy night before. i guess any coffee from lumiere du mile end (in montreal) and ella (in brooklyn). that espresso machine fix it place up on phiney ridge in seattle had amazing coffee.

best snack of 2010:
zucchini cupcakes with chocolate icing from lumiere du mile end.

favourite live set of 2010:
kaffebarrin or rust or that weird golden hour tour show we had in hackney. (edit: been informed it was called the george)

best after show random adventure:
bristol: bikerides, booze, and booty.

top 5 ferry rides of 2010:
5. the ferry ride from the mainland of scotland to the isle of aaran.
4. the chi-cheemaun ferry between tobermory and manitoulin island.
3. the train to super ferry to train between london and amsterdam.
2. the high speed ferry from victoria to seattle.
1. the ferry from port angeles to victoria.

best volcano of 2010:
eyjafjallajökull in iceland. i was there for it. it made things strange and really fun. people were stranded. the city of reykjavik was giving us free things. i heard a guy sitting beside me in a hot spring on the phone with his boss back in london telling him he was just sitting around the aeroport waiting to find out what was happening.

best aeroport security gate woman of 2010:
i landed in glasgow after managing to get on a flight out of iceland but i was completely haggard and dishevelled. i got to the customs border people and realized i had lost my passport somewhere between boarding and exiting the plane. this lovely scottish security guard had me sit down and told me everything would be ok and spent 20 minutes looking for my passport. and found it! i hugged her.

best border officer of 2010:
the lady working at the vancouver/seattle high speed ferry border. she was so sweet and kind and the way the rest of those dicks should be.

best american bar of 2010:
the brooklyn ice house.

best canadian bar of 2010:
salon officiel (in montreal).

best u.k. bar of 2010:
stereo in york was great. the underground not really open but still in an old pub pub in hackney (edit: been informed it was called the george)
the wee pub in glasgow.

best icelandic bar of 2010:
kaffebarrinn.

best ecstacy buzz of 2010:
at bar 25 in berlin. all by myself.

best day ever after terrifying mushroom trip of 2010:
the sunday at soundwave on vancouver island. staring at the ocean, drinking good coffee, the most amazing gal by my side and a dj playing everything from a tribe called quest to dear prudence by the beatles to carmella by beth orton.

best train ride of 2010:
the tuesday after canadian thanksgiving. i took the amtrak train 69 between montreal and new york city. they had a double decker car with 360 degree views of the autumn foliage. holy hell. also: the ride from edinburgh to york where i was bumped to first class - free food and coffee while zipping along the british coastline.

best brunch of 2010:
sunday brunch at lodge, december 12th. my gal and i sat at the bar beside a huge christmas tree. good drinks and tasty food with my love.

best person i thought was alright until i realized was awesome of 2010:
nai.

best drinking buddy (go the distance wise) of 2010:
tom scarlett.

rowdiest drinking buddy of 2010:
jane flett.

best drunk river crossing of 2010:
dai and leonna crossing the crammond brae in edinburgh.

best hangover chinese food of 2010:
no. 1 chinese at the corner of bedford and lafeyette.

best tire blowout of 2010:
january 2nd in the tennessee mountains

best road trip vehicle of 2010:
the sprinter which was rented for the golden hour tour.

best people i met on tour of 2010:
jamie carmichael, kristina salgvik, hailley rebecca beavis, those kids in reykjavik, samuel kohler, ali cross, rosie etherington, bee hayes, and many more that i am probably forgetting...

best pair of boots of 2010:
my oxblood doc martens which were a birthday present from my lovely gal.

best place to chill the fuck out in 2010:
port elgin ontario. right on lake huron.

tastiest beer of 2010:
the proper english ale they served from old casks at that weird old closed down pub the golden hour played at in hackney. it was so delicious.

tastiest cider of 2010:
cloudy cider in glasgow. rose cider at le barbare in montreal.

most dirty rockinest blues album i forgot about until 2010:
a ass pocket of whiskey by r.l. burnside.

best rooftop sex of 2010:
in dumbo right by the manhattan bridge.

best black metal band of 2010:
the one that played in the abandoned church across the street from my house one random night.

best dog of 2010:
loofy.

best cozy in an awesome bar/restaurant and drank 1 and 1/2 bottles of wine where the bartender let us go home with the rest of 2010:
the gainsbourg in seattle.

best motorcycle ride without helmet of 2010:
on the back of don carter's motorcycle in seattle.

most exciting personal musical release of 2010:
my first album on vinyl. such a dream come true.

best random recording studio moment of 2010:
suddenly playing the wooden fish in london bridge recording studio on the james apollo cover of one after 909 for the beatles let it be cover album. what a crazy, fun, and lovely experience.

best personal recording moment of 2010:
bethany arriving out at jeffro's studio (spock river research lab) at 8am to record vocals for nevergreen and the cover of the toof song ballon that we did. we went to bed at 5:30. two and a half hours sleep. she showed up with coffee and donuts. fog was rolling down the river which is right outside the studio. she nailed every take. it was magical and surreal.

favourite remix i did of 2010:
it's a tie between tiger (by motrecraft) and balloon (by toof). i love both of those.

best a frame old house in the middle of iceland of 2010:
hahahaaa. it was crazy. somewhere in snaefellsness. i wish i could have stayed for more than one night.

best make out session of 2010:
my gal and i on the weekend of my brother's wedding. in a hot tub.

favourite quiet wandering after ridiculous night out:
in berlin. wandering around after my set at berstubel.

best cafe of 2010:
lumiere du mile end.

best paved road of 2010:
the little teeny one in philly all covered in christmas lights.

best dirt road of 2010:
sunset drive on lake huron.

best flight of 2010:
the flight out of iceland to glasgow. everyone was together in their escape from iceland due to the volcano.

best billboard of 2010:
the one jessica, kevin, and i sat on a few feet from the manhattan bridge.

best buyback of 2010:
all of the ones from the levee and the ice house but i definitely have to vote for the buyback i got at salon officiel in montreal. the first ever canadian buyback i have ever received.

best swimming hole of 2010:
coeur d'alene. after a long hot day of driving we pulled into this small city and found a massive lake with cliffs to jump from. it was great.

best bartender of 2010:
three way tie between sam and jeff at the levee and the girl who bartends at the ice house.

best roadside attraction of 2010:
wall drug.

best camping (site) of 2010:
camping inside of a tree at soundwave.

best camping (morning) of 2010:
waking up at the badlands and seeing a huge buffalo a few feet away from the tent.

best camping (free) of 2010:
all the places we snuck into driving across country

best hot spring of 2010:
all the ones in reykjavik, chico hot springs in montana, and the winner would have to be the hot water river in iceland.

biggest pain in the ass of 2010:
corey martin.

favourite book of 2010:
the wind up bird chronicle. this back to back with norwegian wood was the perfect haruki murakami experience.

best concert of 2010:
big freedia.

best maple syrup of 2010:
the can of maple syrup from montreal. can!

best reunion of 2010:
hanging out with andy kehoe in seattle. spent huge amounts of my life travelling with him. hadn't seen him in years. it was fucking lovely.

best movie of 2010:
gainsbourg / exit thru the gift shop / jackass 3d.

best soundman of 2010:
the sound man from soundwave.

best stage manager of 2010:
holly at soundwave.

best tuna steak sandwich of 2010:
at the driftwood patio in ucluelet B.C.

best montreal dining experience of 2010:
the griffintown cafe

best brooklyn dining experience of 2010:
any and every time i visit lodge.

best seattle dining experience of 2010:
the gainsbourg.

best skinny dipping of 2010:
on thomson's rooftop in the middle of old city montreal. spectacular view.

best puking moment of 2010:
trey trying to throw up the cialis he 'accidentally' took at 5am.

best photo of 2010:
this one.

best martini of 2010:
at the hair of the dog in toronto.

best rainforest of 2010:
tofino.

best response to police in 2010:
police: "i smell alcohol"
me: "i just took my shoes off. you must be smelling my feet".

best club of 2010:
bar 25 in berlin.

cutest couple of 2010:
nic and phil.

best could have been couple of 2010:
trey and nai.

the eleventh day of christmas.

2010-12-21T00:04:00.000-08:00

i stayed up real late to watch the winter solstice full moon lunar eclipse. it was incredible and reminded me how beautiful life is and how lucky i am to be a part of this amazing universe.

i was standing outside and talking with nairi online while watching great twitter and facebook comments from excited people all over north america. i've never been that much of a fan of twitter but i actually have goosebumps thinking about people all over north america twittering excitedly about the eclipse. "clear skies in casper wyoming" or "my first ever eclipse! michigan hot chocolate is almost ready!" everything just felt so special.

it started around 1:30. i couldn't fully tell anything was happening for a little bit but soon the left side of the moon was disappearing. it was a lovely and slow process. as more of the middle disappeared the eclipsed side began to turn red. it was pretty amazing to watch the moon change colour to a beautiful rusty red orange colour. i wondered how many people in the world were staring at the sky with me at that very moment.

clouds rolled in and soon it was too dark to see anymore. i went to bed with a smile on my face. falling asleep as the shortest day of the year was beginning.

"On this, the shortest day of the year, we are reminded of how things return. Light returns. Warmth returns. Friends return. " - Alan

- - -

NASA says:

Why red?

A quick trip to the Moon provides the answer: Imagine yourself standing on a dusty lunar plain looking up at the sky. Overhead hangs Earth, nightside down, completely hiding the sun behind it. The eclipse is underway. You might expect Earth seen in this way to be utterly dark, but it's not. The rim of the planet is on fire! As you scan your eye around Earth's circumference, you're seeing every sunrise and every sunset in the world, all of them, all at once. This incredible light beams into the heart of Earth's shadow, filling it with a coppery glow and transforming the Moon into a great red orb.

Back on Earth, the shadowed Moon paints newly fallen snow with unfamiliar colours--not much luster, but lots of beauty. Enjoy the show.

the tenth day of christmas

2010-12-20T08:32:00.000-08:00

Live #3: Edinburgh by taperecorder

the ninth day of christmas.

2010-12-19T07:44:00.001-08:00

so these are actually a few days that kind of blend into one.

i awoke, snuggled with my doggy, drank a cup of coffee, and left my home. i took the G train to the A train to penn station (which was so ram packed full of holiday travellers that you could feel the loveliness and excitement in the air) to new jeresy transit to the airtrain to newark airport (where they took my tofurkey and pub cheese away to make the sky a safer place for everyone) to a plane to toronto. my sister picked me up and we went to a hotel where my parents and us were staying.

we went out and had dinner and drinks and then the folks went back home while we found a lovely cozy gay bar and drank cheap martinis. i slept like a lamb after a few of those. the next day i dealt with passport stuff (mine had expired) before meeting up in the kids pool playing on the waterslide. it ruled! afterwards we all met in the joined hotel rooms for drinks. my brother and his wife as well as my sisters friend were there and we had pre christmas/my dads retirement party fun. we went to the distillery district and met up with all my dads friends at the mill house brewery. we ate tons of food and drank tons of beer. we were there for a long time. i took a little walk around the old factory walls and looked at all the lovely lights and trees. i walked by a certain gallery that i had spent one of the loveliest days of an earlier summer tour with a certain gal eating strawberries and drinking champagne. we lefty there and went to a horrible make shift 'english pub'. the night got a little weird and i think i realized my brother is a closeted homophobe and racist. either that or he is just super fucking dumb. i ended up leaving because of it and went back to the cozy little gay bar. my sister, her friend and my parents showed up about 20 minutes later. we had a couple drinks and it was really fun. the next morning i spent on the 29th floor in a hot tub watching the c.n. tower before leaving and driving to port elgin. there is so much snow here! it is amazing.

the eighth day of christmas.

2010-12-15T08:24:00.000-08:00

pratt mansion party.

spent the night in a beautiful old brooklyn mansion. it was owned by the pratt standard oil millionaires before becoming a part of the pratt institute art, fashion, and architect school campus. it is gorgeous inside. rooms made of amazing old wood. an amazing wooden staircase. chandeliers. huge old fire places. all the rooms were filled with delicious foods and red wine or beer. there was a piano player. it was so warm and cozy in there on a brutal cold brooklyn night. we arrived early and left late. heading down into dyker heights to see the ridiculous display of over the top christmas lights. it was really cold out so it was just a quick visit before heading into red hook for a little cozy drink at the brooklyn ice house. it was a beautiful and lovely night.

dyker heights:

dyker heights. from marc francis on Vimeo.

the seventh day of christmas

2010-12-13T21:53:00.003-08:00

Live #2: Reykjavik by taperecorder

the sixth day of christmas

2010-12-13T21:53:00.001-08:00

we awoke and lazed around. that shitty feeling of us having to separate was in the air. we decided on brunch at lodge before she left. we sat at the bar and it was one of my favourite times there. we were in the corner beside the giant christmas tree and it just felt so festive in there. we ate amazing meals and i drank bloody marys while she had a mimosa. it was fucking lovely and everyone seemed in the highest of spirits....

and then she left. i walked around for a while. not wanting to go home. i called tom and we met at the levee. it was a great afternoon and evening spent with good music and great barkeeps.

the fifth day of christmas.

2010-12-12T21:52:00.001-08:00

my gal and i woke up fairly early on saturday morning. made a huge tasty fry up before heading over to manhattan. i took her to the crazy brandon lattu installation that i had spent 96 hours in 6 days working on. we walked the highline and abandoned the idea of heading to see the rockerfeller tree on a saturday before christmas. we went back to brooklyn and walked about williamsburg for a bit before stopping in at the levee for some holiday cheer. after a few drinks we had an amazing huge meal. then we went off to dumbo to see the tree under the bridge. from there it was off to the ice house for a few more but we were so full we ended up going back home and falling fast asleep...

the fourth day of christmas.

2010-12-12T21:52:00.000-08:00

i was walking home from getting food for my gal who was on her way down from montreal. stocking up for the weekend. i decided to stop by and visit my christmas tree pal. i could spare five or ten minutes. it turned into 3 hours. we drank really delicious wine supplied by a local wine director (not sure what the means) but it was tasty with a nice kick of warmth with every sip. it was such a perfect evening. then i made my way home and my special lady friend arrived and we ate and kissed and hung out. we took my dog for a walk and i introduced her the christmas tree girl. they spoke french to one another and i could pick up about every 6 words and it was really really lovely.

the third day of christmas.

2010-12-08T08:56:00.000-08:00

i've been having these really strange days and lovely nights lately. daytime seems filled with strange out of my hands stress. it is also really really cold out which is making me stay in a lot more than usual. which i suppose is good because i have been working on finishing many little projects that have accumulated. nighttime is different though. it gets dark early. i find myself putting on my big ass parka and wandering off to fort greene park with my dog. or skateboarding over to williamsburg to see bands play. or just walking around which ends up with a visit to the christmas tree girl. i think it's something about the dark cold nights and all the christmas lights cutting through it all. lighting the bleekness. celebrating the winter. cold hands reminding you they are there. breath showing you it's face.

anyway, yesterday was a particularly rough day for a few reasons that i need not get into here. so as the night grew stronger i felt this overwhelming urge to do something. dp (my ex) stopped by and we ate hot and sour soup while listening to the clash. she was getting ready to leave and i just needed to get out of the house so asked her to drive me to the christmas tree girl. we went over and all three of us hung out for a while. dp staying half hour maybe. it was a truly hilarious half hour. tree girl turned the music up and then started dancing with dp. within minutes a restaurant owner from across the street came over to buy a tree and started dancing while yelling things in spanish. his employee that he brought was doing strange karate kicks. it was all so silly and surreal. after much tongue-in-cheek yelling they bought a huge christmas tree and walked backwards across the 5 point intersection with it. i wish i had that on video. after that dp left us and we started building reindeer out of tree trunks and branches. as well as small christmas trees from discarded trunk bottoms and branches. just sitting on the sidewalk in the freezing cold brooklyn night. all the while swilling wine from cold metal camping cups and discussing how to live as truly good a life as one can; why people tell her that she can't keep living a nomadic life (and her wanting to figure out how to combine her lifestyle and motherhood); plans to travel come may (for me); and her next destination which is somewhere in the wilds of quebec for the winter. finally around 4am my feet couldn't take the cold any longer. i walked home and went to bed.

it was a truly fucking grand night.

the second day of christmas.

2010-12-06T03:54:00.000-08:00

Live #1: Berlin by taperecorder

happy st. nicholas day.

the first day of christmas.

2010-12-04T09:32:00.000-08:00

last night was super great.

i skated home at 2am half drunk with a free christmas tree. i passed a van full of police who were laughing and giving me the thumbs up. i spent most of the night with the quebecois christmas tree girl that i met last year. she is one of those great people i seem to randomly and luckily meet. one of those with that mad twinkle in their eyes. it was fucking freezing cold and we stood around outside in it swigging cans of beer and talking about things. it was lovely. before that i was in a bar called franks. a classic old school brooklyn bar that between the hours of 6 and 10 on a friday night seems to be full of awesome old black people. at one point i was the only white person and the youngest by 20 years at the bar. it was amazing listening to all the great conversations and old stories. i made friends with lovely guy named willie who put his arm around me and said "don't matter if you are black or white. life is hard for everyone. you do your best." it was a much needed all around good night. it's been a strange few days. on the outs with someone which is making life with a certain someone else harder and sometimes seemingly impossible. i had just received a small but decent royalty check that afternoon down in dumbo from tummy touch. i was hell bent on some mild celebrating but most everyone i know were either out of town, at work, living in another country, or hungover (tom). so i decided on just getting one at franks and then buying a tree and going home to set it up. luckily for me, my night turned out much differently!

halloween weekend

2010-11-01T19:21:00.000-07:00

it was halloween weekend. which means visitors, no sleep, and lot's of fun.

we started it with bagels in the park, a nice long walk, jackass 3d (which was fucking hilarious), a nap, people arriving, mamie minch at picasso machinery, a half hour at death by audio, and an amazing late night queer dance party with bethany, steph, nairi, and my lovely gal....

slept late, long brunch at lodge with my bestest of friends (and a special guest appearance by the drummer of deerhoof), nice leisurely stroll around williamsburg (looking for costume stuffs) with nairi and jessica, a sportsman and lovely talk at the levee with the same people (and a special guest appearance thru the window of my favourite beastie boy), the insanest event ever which is known as bike kill (google that shit - it was beautiful fucking chaos), the bullshit that was the 'danger' party (those guys need to stop ruining halloween), the rococo parade, then to a fancy party in dumbo, and back to bushwick for a party in a hallway, before 6am chimay, and fleeing to our beds as the sun rose...

sunday was much mellower with us seleeping very late, brunch with nairi and bethany and steph and jessica and jonathon, then a hot bath, number 1 chinese food, movies, and snugglefest....

i love halloween.

these days...

2010-10-26T10:08:00.000-07:00

...have been strange. long weird balances between rowdy fun and sleepy stress. i have been fighting with something beyond my control. ebbing and flowing is a theory right now. i am trying to make it all work out and i am trying to get back to my normal life.

two things in the last 12 hours have been great punch in the arm kind of reminders though...

1.) this piece from Norwegian Wood (by Haruki Murakami):
"Mind if i give you some advice?"
"Sure, go ahead."
"Don't feel sorry for yourself," he said. "Only assholes do that."

2.) this song by king khan and the shrines:

epilogue....

2010-10-20T19:33:00.000-07:00

so, this is sort of an epilogue to pop montreal, to september and august spent bouncing between montreal and the lakeside town of port elgin. it is an epilogue to the soundwave journey across vancouver island and my time spent wandering around seattle. an epilogue to my roadtrip across america; through her beautiful valleys, rugged mountains, bubbling fumeroles, strange characters, lovely towns, eerie lonesome nights, and deep dark quiets. an epilogue to a strange and hard june in montreal. and finally an epilogue to my european tour and u.k. golden hour tour...

::

i left my house on april 14th. i flew to iceland on the way to europe. i had many adventures that i have documented here. just as many that i haven't. i played music for people all over. it was fucking amazing. my life will be forever changed. i know that i am lucky to be doing this and i know how much work it took doing it all myself. i usually take off for a month or two every year to play music. this year though it was six months. i am home now. back in my brooklyn apartment. slowly getting back into real life. calculating costs and income and losses. the journey fading a little, becoming a bit blurry. not burning any less, just burning a different colour. i don't want to forget and i don't want to only remember the good bits. i want to remember it all. i do feel so happy to be home - but there is a part of me that also wishes i was still going. money is an issue. but not too bad. i even am starting work at a gallery this weekend. building rooms within rooms for a show. i need to recoup, hunker down, get some new music together, work on my new album. i feel rough. i am transitioning back into life here though. a few late nights at a few of my favourite bars with lovely old friends as well as long walks through lovely quiet neighbourhoods are helping. i am being reminded of how much i love it here. i feel quite at home. i was going to try and write something poetic but i just read this interview with justin townes earle and he said it so much better:

Is there a sense that every real folk troubadour has to eventually make his way to New York City?
No. I don’t think everybody does. I don’t think everybody has the heart to do it. This city isn’t for everybody. It’s for true believers and true dreamers. You can’t have any want for any form of reality if you want to survive in New York City. It’s a completely alternate reality, unlike anything else on the face of this earth.

How so?
There’s no place that speaks like New York City, there’s no place that moves like New York City, there’s no place that fights like New York City, there’s no place that fucks like New York City, there’s no place that drinks like New York City, there’s no place that does anything quite like New York City. I find it to be an incredible place.

Does New York feel like home yet?
Oh, for sure. You move to Nashville from somewhere else, you’ll never be a Nashvillian. That’s just the way it is. Nashville doesn’t work that way. But you stay in New York, you become a New Yorker. That’s what it’s about. It’s about immigrants. It’s about people coming from all over the place to find whatever it is they’re looking for in the greatest city on earth. So I consider myself 100% a New Yorker.

POP montreal #10: in video.

2010-10-13T15:58:00.000-07:00

POP montreal #9: in photographs (2).

2010-10-06T12:39:00.001-07:00

you can take a closer peak at the photographs by clicking this. laziness and facebooks lack of embedding made me do this.

POP montreal #8: in photographs (1).

2010-10-06T12:12:00.000-07:00

galactique showcase:

ryan hemsworth.

beeker.

motrecraft.

taperecorder.

toof.

tobbogan (w/shogun & ill mestizo).

POP montreal #7: the final night.

2010-10-06T08:40:00.000-07:00

after a lovely day outdoors on the islands we went back to the plateau and had dinner with jenn. the girl who sang with me at the galactique showcase. she is a lovely gal. afterwards on the walk home i stopped for cans of swill. i was excited for the last shows but exhausted. i was supposed to catch a train in the morning and was a little bummed that i would have to take it a little easy. we went back to the mile end vortex and the house which seemed to be at the centre of it. it was about ten thirty. jessica had to work in the morning. danny p was on his way back to seattle via various cities and planes. i was itching to go out but decided to wait for everyone to come back so we could all go together. there were four more bands playing the final show of pop just two blocks away. trey knew the dj for big freedia. i had no idea who they were. when they came home i waited around for a bit until i realized that even with bracelets which got them in for free and with it being two blocks away they weren't actually going to come to the show. they were going to watch CTV. i was completely thrown off but i guess in hindsight not so surprised. i had barely hung out with any of them and it was usually just danny p, jessica and i going to as many shows as we could. like i said, danny p had flown home early that morning and jessica had to work early the next morning so i had no partner in crime show wise tonight. fuck it. i left, walked across the train tracks, and decided right then and there i wasn't going home in the morning. i was only going because trey and i were taking the train back to new york together. but i figured why skip out on this show and not have a lovely day or two with my gal since there seemed to be no effort to hang out coming towards me. i realize it was a ridiculously busy week but it still bummed me out. anyway, once the decision was reached i felt better. i stood in an alley drinking one of my cans of beer and saw sam pull up on his bike. yes! a friend to share the music with.

we went in together, sam paying his 15 dollars, both heading straight to the bar.

toneta: was first. they were mediocre at best. just sort of gimmicky and dull. it reeked of that mile end scenester vibe. thankfully their set was super short.

UN: were up next. they were pretty bizarre and definitely interesting. the drummer was sort of intense and the singer/keyboardist was strange and bouncy. i liked them quite a bit.

gobble gobble: came on after. they were super rowdy and energetic and fun. but to be honest, they lost me around the fourth songs. it all just became too much the same and too many mistakes with the guy drumming up front. that's just me though! everyone else seemed to really love it. they were all dancing and going crazy to them.

big freedia: ho. ly. fuck. this was my favourite show of pop montreal and definitely in my top five shows of all time. it was so fucking fun! and rowdy! and the sound was amazing. and big freedia was hilarious. and the stripper was hilarious. and the crowd storming the stage and hanging from the ceiling pipes was hilarious. beer and booze and water everywhere. and big freedias acapella. and big freedias queer power! so fucking fun. i danced my ass off with the biggest grin on my face. they played for a long time. it was after 3:30 when we got out of there. i said goodbye to sam and shannon, cut through the rail yard, and took my drunk ass home. i stayed up online until after 5 telling friends from other countries all about it.

and that was it. pop montreal 2010 was over. i saw 21 bands in 5 days. i would have seen more if not for the rain. most of them fell somewhere between great and amazing. there were a few not so goods but oh well. we also had our very own showcase. which went over well! it was a ton of work but also a ton of fun! i was surrounded by friends from seattle, halifax, montreal, austin, toronto. i drank far too much and slept not nearly enough. i spent a ton of money. i ran all over this city. i owned it!

imma post a photoblog and video blog on here soon. over the next day or two. and then eventually my ass will somehow get back to brooklyn. all the trains are sold out until saturday. "good times, oh yes i love them!"

POP montreal #6: the final day.

2010-10-06T07:52:00.000-07:00

again we awoke. again we showered. and again we left to go hear more music. my old friend terence kissner was playing at the pop montreal/piknic show on some island. piknic is famous for techno and house. people all over the world come check it out and find the likes of ritchie hawtin and mutek type electronic music. for some reason i have never been. i think i've been around to many closed minded snobby anti-dance music electronic musicians for the last few years here in montreal. anyway, i grabbed a couple of records for terence and anyone else i might bump into and we headed to brunch. it was tasty. afterwards while paying the waitress asked me about the record. she could hardly speak any english. i was trying to explain even with an interpretor and eventually just gave her one. she was shocked and pleased.

and then the subway. and then the show. when we arrived there we realized we weren't really at a pop montreal event. i mean, it technically was. but it didn't feel like it. no lovely volunteers at the door. just bitchy people who wouldn't let us in with our artist bracelets even though they were supposed to. there were no lovely pop logo's anywhere. the bartenders would give you only 3/4 full cups of beer and were not so nice. this kind of threw me off and i spent the first half hour wishing i never came. then i started noticing that the people attending were all really lovely and happy and dancing. fuck the organizers. they've lost the point. we are why this happens. people who love music. people who play music. the door people and bartenders lost that love ages ago.

terence kissner: was playing an amazing set. the montreal skyline was in the background. the buckminster fuller geodesic dome was on the other side of us. people were dancing under a huge metal sculpture that was made for expo 67. this shit was fucking fun! afterwards we hung out and got drunk with terence but mostly just one another. no one else came. just jessica and i.

swayzak: came on a little later. terence introduced me to the scottish one and it turns out we both lived in the small scottish village when we were wee. they were awesome. they were a little darker than i was expecting but it was fun. and fucking packed. you couldn't move on the dancefloor area.

we received a call about free tickets to the gorillaz show but for some reason turned them down. it wasn't a part of pop. it was just a stadium show. it just didn't feel right. we decided food was in order before the night shows. we walked around the amazing buckminster fuller expo 86 geodesic dome before heading back to the subway

imma continue my nighttime post in the next blog....

POP montreal #5: autumn.

2010-10-04T12:39:00.000-07:00

so we awoke and actually all felt pretty good. we got showered and coffeed and tead and made our way down to the pop montreal check in/artists hangout/notman house barbecue. it was a long and lovely walk. we realized that it had suddenly become autumn. we stopped once to look at a camaro that had been painted with all kinds of led zeppelin artwork. it was so bad it bordered amazing. anyway, we arrived and ate some free food, listened to some good music and then the drinking began. just like that. they had an outdoor bar and there were bands playing. they had an indoor bar and there was foosball to play. it was corey (toboggan), trey (toof), danny p from motrecraft, jessica (badass lovely mommabear), and i. we just hung out and had a great day. just a simple, fun, laid back day of music, booze, food, laughs, and awesome people everywhere.

i honestly can't remember most of the bands that played but there was one called...

hot panda: and they were really fun. at one point the bass player was playing the notes by hammering on and plucking the strings with her left hand while playing the trumpet with her right hand. holy fuck i was impressed. they also seemed to be having a ton of fun.

after a while we noticed that it was starting to get really cold. we hung out for a while more and i played 4 ball foosball before heading back north to the mile end vortex. stopped for food which we all ate in the park. we kicked around all the autumn leaves afterwards. it was all really lovely. back at the house i had to borrow a coat from someone because it had become so cold out. since pop montreal started the weather has been so crazy. the first day was warm and humid. then there was the monsoon like day and a half of rain. then autumn graced us with his presence. now it was feeling like early winter. anyway, from there we watched some amazing video that dan had taken of the galactique show before heading to see...

the luyas: didn't see too much of the show but what we did was lovely. colourful lights and colourful fabric everywhere. it was in redbird studios.

secret show starring deerhoof: back at the late night pop showcase there was a secret show with deerhoof. it was fun hearing them again. it was a whole new perspective and the venue was much more rock and roll feeling. another fine night of music.

POP montreal #4: more music. more fun.

2010-10-03T20:23:00.000-07:00

we woke up fairly late. it was grey and damp but no rain. coffee was consumed, plans were made, but everything seemed to fall apart. i spent the afternoon in a lovely coffee shop all alone. it was nice. then it was time for music. to be honest, i was feeling a bit rough. but i powered through. first on the list was...

danielson: jessica, danny p, and i made our way to tulipe to see the danielson and deerhoof show. i kinda really fucking loved danielson. he has a pretty high pitched voice that can grate when he screams a bit - but besides that - they were amazing. they were adorable looking also. the venue was gorgeous and the sound was great. and then it was...

deerhoof: deerhoof was fun. a whole shitload of fun. seriously. the drummer was mind blowing. the two 12 stringed guitarists also. and the singer/bass player was great. the place was jam packed. it was really great.

from there we made our way back to the team galactique montreal house and met up with trey, nai, and lon. we consumed substances and liquids. and navigated our way over the railroad tracks to the late night pop party and saw pat jordache for a song or two. i am not really sure. it was weird. i am not sure if he(they?) were soundchecking. none of could understand. they were selling tacos in the next room and the smell made us all nauseous. we left after about 15 minutes and adventured towards the small and lovely loft space where duchess says were playing.

duchess says: we arrived and found an amazing small space. the area where duchess says was playing had a weird white curtain around it. the drummer was playing a sort of evil rhythm behind there. people were milling about. the drumming went on for a while. it was creepy, uncomfortable, and perfect. the guitar guy pulled the curtain back from inside it and the music began. duchess says are fucking incredible live. bizarre driving beats and locked in grooves with off kilter guitar and keyboard. the singer doesn't really sing words. she just kind of yells "tak tak tak!!!" or moans weird sounds or makes her own rhythms with her voice. there is no one quite like them anywhere. she is also quite insane. at one point danny p turned to me and said "she is a witch". he was so right. she totally is the closest that i have ever been to seeing a witch. duchess says fucking killed it.

we tried to get into some other party at the silver door but it was too packed. so we went back home and stayed up far too late.

POP montreal #3: rain and music.

2010-10-01T10:57:00.000-07:00

we woke up late and it was raining. we walked to a place for brunch in the rain. some people had to return drum and keyboard rentals in the rain. others went home in the rain. i had a lovely post fun show afterglow and wanted to do something but it was pissing down so hard. i wanted to feel like i was part of the festival because the showcase had been so all encompassing. it was over and we could now just participate. but this fucking rain. it was like a monsoon.

late afternoon we went to the pop montreal notman house to pick up our wrist bands, a free pop montreal bag filled with random crap, and some free beer. suddenly i was a part of something beyond galactique. galactique was now a part of pop montreal. and it was something lovely. there was a ping pong table, foosball, a bar, couches, seminars, and an amazing portrait photographer taking shots of all the bands. we had a nice little galactique photoshoot with me, jessica, corey, trey, and ryan. it was raining so hard outside and it felt good to be there. i could have stayed for hours but i think trey wanted to leave so we all did. back to the house. we drank a lot waiting for the rain to subside. we walked thru it to get food. we walked back home in it. so much rain.

rebekah higgs: i had planned to go see her perform. i love her voice and her music. i never made it. fucking rain.

shonen knife: they were amazing. they came on at 12:30. the rain stopped just as we left. three punk rock japanese girls playing hard, fast, and fun music. it was surprisingly empty for such a legendary band. whats up montreal? although the crowd that was there were super into it. they were great. danny p and i went, everyone else had headed for the hudson mohawke show.

holy fuck: my friend was the bass player for this band. he isn't now. we left the mile end caberet and headed north. crossing the train tracks and into the amazing venue where holy fuck were playing. they came on at 2am. they were so fucking good. like so so so so good.

home: danny p disappears over a fence in the backyard. small search party gives up after a few minutes. sleep.

POP montreal #2: galactique showcase.

2010-10-01T00:49:00.000-07:00

so.

last night was lovely. so fucking lovely.

there was so much random work that went into it and it all came together. nothing perfect but it all came goddamn close enough.

our label (galactique recordings) that is run by a small collective of friends were chosen to play at pop montreal. and play we did. ryan hemsworth and his lovely gal liz came from halifax nova scotia; motrecraft (all four of them!) flew in from seattle; toof aka trey came all the way from austin texas (via trains and planes); i came from the dirty broken brooklyn; mike din came in from the toronto; beeker (chuck) and toboggan (corey) were representing montreal: and we all played so well. we all had fun. we all (for the most part) were sort of a family. it was fucking awesome.

jenn mierau sung and performed with me (thank you). shogun and ill mestizo performed with beeker (thank you). pierre did the beautiful visuals (thank you). nai made the chili for the frito pie (thank you). thompson served the frito pie (thank you). nai and yousman worked the swag table (thank you). jessica worked her ass off behind the scenes ( i can't thank you enough). and, in my opinion, it was all so so so so worth it.

even with the hassles on our sides and the hassles on the pop organizers sides: thank you team galactique and pop montreal. that. was. fucking. lovely.

POP montreal #1: pre-fun.

2010-09-29T05:14:00.001-07:00

i give up on finishing the 'go west' stuff. mainly i got stuck because i really wanted to write about this amazing, intense, and ultimately terrifying magic mushroom experience i had at soundwave. i will get around to writing about it one day...

but until then i want to write about random things again.

like!

the galactique showcase at pop montreal. it is just about here!!!! corey (toboggan) lives here; i (taperecorder) arrived on sunday evening; danny p (motrecraft) arrived on monday; amy (motrecraft) and dave (motrecraft) arrived on tuesday afternoon; trey (toof), mike sin, and ryan hemsworth arrived on tuesday evening; and brie (motrecraft) arrived on tuesday night. we all hung out at corey and jessicas house and got to know one another. i learned this: we have a lovely bunch of people on our label!

tonight will be fun.

:::
i also got this lovely write up and SSG pop montreal 2010 pick:

Pop Montreal 2010 pick: Taperecorder

Brooklyn’s Taperecorder is the latest project from Marc Francis, who seems to have a case of musical multiple-personality disorder. Founder of the house music collective Intergalactic Faerie Funk and the folkier Mossyrock, Taperecorder began as a solo project, and is decidedly quirky and poppy, danceable though still glitchy enough to keep it from sounding formulaic. Former Mossyrock collaborators also contribute to the project, with Jeffro Richards mixing, and vocals provided by Bethany Spears (also of The Feverfew, one of my favorite, and most criminally underrated female singer/songwriters.) Artwork for the project is done by Loren Edrich, and deserves a serious look. Their latest single is “Cold Spring,” a track that sounds something like if a Warren Zevon melody were being played by a bunch of space robot children with the angelic vocals. As the name of the project might suggest, Taperecorder’s music is something of a montage of various styles and sounds, acoustic guitars, electronic textures and glitchy rhythms.

Also playing the Galactique Records showcase will be Halifax native Ryan Hemsworth at 21h00, Montréal’s own underground hip-hop producer Beeker at 21h30, Seattle’s Motrecreft at 22h00, Austin, TX’s Toof at 23h30, and another hometown act sure to get the crowd moving, Toboggan at 00h15. A not to miss showcase with some of most interesting and fun indie-rock inspired noisy pop, dance and electronic music. Tobaggan will also be getting it going at a loft party on October 1st, but you have to message him for the address. Do it.

::::

and we got a 'she does the city' pick of pop montreal wednesday night!

Taperecorder, Toboggan, Toof & Motrecraft @ O Patro Vys. Galactique Recordings & Pop Montreal present a GR artist showcase featuring half a dozen local and American indie bands, including: Brooklyn’s Taperecorder; Montreal’s Toboggan; Austin’s Toof; Seattle’s Motrecraft; and Montreal’s Beeker. The party kicks off at 8pm with free Frito pie and a performance by Halifax’s Ryan Hemsworth.
8:00pm-3:00am. O Patro Vys -356 Mont-Royal Est.

go west: vancouver island & soundwave.

2010-08-09T07:57:00.000-07:00

we drove across the tacoma narrows bridge and headed north. we drove to port angelese through a part of washington state i had never seen before. an area i will do my best to go back and visit. we arrived in port angelese and bought our ferry ticket. we had a few hours to kill so we we walked around the small coastal town and it seemed that everything other than restaurants welcoming twilight fans was closed. we eventually found a cool little bookstore and i bought the a used copy and ace in the hole by annie proulx. we made out way back to the car and soon enough we boarded the victoria b.c. bound ferry.

my favourite little beautiful moment of the whole adventure happened while on the ferry. every trip seems to have a moment for me where i just feel that 100% freedom of a road trip. an everything is perfect moment. it usually isn't even the best part of the trip or anything like that. it's just this great little moment that becomes a touchstone for the whole adventure. anyway, we parked the car on the ferry and i went upstairs and to the back of the outside deck where i just soaked everything in as we pulled out of port angeles. it was around 10pm and the sun was still up but it had fallen behind the mountains so the light was strange and beautiful. and as we pulled further out into the coastal waters of southeast alaska and british columbia i watched the port angeles lights flicker and shimmer and a sliver moon rose and the cool sea air surrounded me and the salty smell all just combined to fill me with such fucking glee and wonder. it lasted for a nice amount of time until i started to feel a damp cold and soon the ferry was surrounded by fog. i made my way back in and the foghorn kept blowing and little kids started crying and everything soon became strange and eerie. still exciting but a little scary. after an hour of fog it soon started to dissipate and i noticed they had three sailors stationed along the front of the boat who must have been on an extra lookout through the fog. i could see the lights of victoria and it's surrounding communities. the ferry sailed into the victoria harbour and it was such a wonderful sight. it was dark now and the city was lit up beautifully. they called everyone back to their cars but i couldn't move from the side of the boat. i waited until the ferry doors to the car area began to open and i ran down and hopped in and we sped off into the british columbian night.

we found more free camping in a pay camp spot close to the aeroport. it was a lovely spot. we awoke and i packed everything up and was ready to go and pick jessica up. for some reason todd took forever to pack and then decided he wanted a shower. once we were finally in the car i had to speed the whole way to the victoria international aeroport. once there i met her at the gate and it was lovely and fun and exciting. we went to the car and were ready to go. and we waited. and waited. no todd. we waited two hours. i went in and paged him. about fifteen minutes later he sauntered in. he was watching the planes take off and land. finally we were off.

until we had to stop so he could get an oil change. after an hour of driving we stopped in one of those towns that could have been anywhere and drove around all the same strip malls and chain stores looking for a deal for his oil change. 3 hours and bad grocery fast food later we were finally on highway 4 driving across one of the most beautiful places on the planet. the first thing you see on this drive once you leave all the crap behind is this massive mountain lake. the road runs alongside it. and then there are giant trees. we stopped and went for a walk in them. they are majestic. and then we stopped at another lake and went for a swim. i washed my hair in the lake and we hung out and soaked in all the beauty. once leaving that spot you then drive through the last chain store big box town and the road narrows into a winding up and down and side to side along cliff edges around lakes through forests and on and on through valleys kind of road. we arrived in ucluelet at night. it was dark. we stopped at the liquor store and picked up a 6 pack. we drove up the logging road towards the soundwave festival. this is one of my favourite roads ever. i usually have a rental car so i just tear up it not giving a fuck about washboard pothole filled road. this was my fifth year playing at soundwave. it felt good to be back. we went into an area near the festival and set up camp for the night. we had a little fire and sat under the millions of stars quietly. sleep came. so did the fog. and then night night.

we spent the next morning in tofino. a tiny little town filled with boats and sea planes taking people to places i can only imagine. we left there and spent the day at the beaches in and along the pacific rim national park. big epic white sandy beaches the can only be reached after hikes through temperate rainforests. it was glorious. as evening fell we went back into ucluelet and to a nice little restaurant before heading back to our campsite outside of the festival. about halfway up the logging road we were stopped by the r.c.m.p. (canadian police). they were checking people going in and out of the festival. one of the cops opened my door and i got pissed because he was blatantly abusing his power. i wasn't driving. i was in the passengers seat. we had done nothing wrong. he said he smelled alcohol. total fucking bullshit. he started illegally searching things in our car while the other cop was playing buddy buddy. they were fucking scum. we left and went back to our camp and found a hand written note that said: this is private property. no camping please.

so we packed up and headed into the festival. i gave todd his free $190 ticket and we were inside. soundwave is a wonderful festival. it is an older based crowd and is put together by a group of friends who are not promoters but actual sound people for different events in vancouver, victoria, and surrounding areas. things like concerts and whatnot. it takes place at the mussel beach campground inside a temperate rainforest along the pacific ocean. across from the site out in the water is the broken islands. the location of soundwave is nothing short of spectacular. we went into the woods and found the tree which i camped INSIDE last year. no one had found it. i set up the tent again and we went out to have fun and dance. todd left to go camp somewhere else. and we drank a bottle of wine.

ok. imma end this here. more in the next and final "go west" blog.

go west: more...

2010-08-04T12:30:00.000-07:00

i always have these grandiose plans on here. i try to document the whole trip for myself, for her, for random friends. and i always end up getting lost in the adventure and forgetting where i was and what day was which. i even tried making this one a little more factual so that they would be less rambling and more day to day. still i failed. but oh well. here is more of what happened. let's make this one go from the last entry to soundwave. combine a few because i no longer really remember the order of things....

i do have this written down for day nine:
444 miles
8 hours
which was probably this:

and i do know that i woke up to the sound of a rushing river the morning after chico hot springs. we drove for a while before stopping at deer lodge montana to watch the world cup final between holland and spain. we spent the duration of the game drinking beer and teaching cowboys, rednecks, and locals the rules of soccer. they went from hating the game to explaining to newcomers that 'shush now, this is the olympics of soccer!' hahahaha. it was pretty awesome. 'what's a reyad card?' hahahaaa. the bartender was this lovely gal named shelly and she also worked at the prison. she hooked us up with a few free drinks. the game went into extra time and people in the bar really seemed to love it. we drove on from there. i am not sure where to. but it was fucking hot. boiling hot and no a/c in the car. oh right. then we went to coeur d'alene idaho and drove into the center of the city and randomly found a lake with cliffs to jump off of! it was lovely and refreshing. we stayed in there swimming well passed sunset. from there we went for an actual sit down meal before driving 45 minutes north of the city and camping in a state park. we managed to camp for free again.

the next day we drove into eastern washington state which is all desert and burnt. we drove through a dust storm for about 2 hours. it was so hot in the car again. we found a crappy lake by the highway and swam some more. back into the heat and driving. we crossed the mighty columbia river before ascending into the cool green mountains. everything smelled of pine and the temperature really dropped. we stopped in the town where they filmed northern exposure (roslyn) and walked around. it was really cold (but great). we took photos and laughed. we went for a beer at the brick (which was featured in the t.v. show). a redneck dick at the bar said something about me being a long haired hippie. i was about to say "the only thing i hate more than hippies is rednecks" and smash his face with my fist but todd said "what, have you been passed out drunk for the last 40 years? there hasn't been any fucking hippies since the 1960's" in his monotone voice. the place got very quiet very fast. the strange silence was really uncomfortable. we finished our beers and when the bartender sheepishly asked if we wanted another one i replied with a "fuck no". we headed back on the highway and towards seattle. we arrived and met my old pal james apollo out in golden gardens park along the puget sound. we stood at the end of it along the railroad tracks and watched the rib cage of some big animal be buoyed up and down by the waves in some rocks. he had a bag with a few beers for some weary travellers. he knows the score usually being a weary traveller himself. we went back to his place and made a big feast and drank some red wine. i slept outside on his back balcony and it was all rather fucking beautiful. this is where my time frame gets positively wonky. i know we spent a few days there and i drank a shitload of amazing coffee and took many long walks around the city. i also know we went to london bridge recording studio and recorded a cover of 1 after 909 by the beatles with james apollo and his ragtag band. it is for a cover album of 'let it be' which mojo magazine is putting out. it was so so so much fun even though i only played the wooden fish (guiro) and a teeny bit of percussion. it was such a great session. so much fun and everyone was nice and it is a legendary studio. good times, oh yes i love them.

at some point we left seattle, drove south a little bit, crossed the tacoma narrows bridge, and then headed northwest to port angeles. lemme cover that in the next post...

go west: day eight.

2010-07-21T12:35:00.000-07:00

did more of the same today. drove around yellowstone looking at things. todd got his car fixed and i tried to find the third place game of the world cup but failed. we saw more lovely things and eventually left the park in the later afternoon/early evening. we stopped at chico hot springs an hour or so later. i love this place. i have been there once in the winter and then again once after burning man. you walk through a saloon to get into the hot spring pools. it is an old real cowboy saloon. last time i was there i saw cowboys comparing rifles right out front of it. anyway, there is one large pool with warm water and a smaller pool with really fucking hot water in it. it is heavenly. they also have a walk up bar service window where one can purchase one dollar cans of olympia beer. we soaked and drank and swam and talked and drank some more. at one point there was some lightening and they asked everyone to get out of the pool. i really just wanted to stay in and take my chances. i didn't really give a fuck if i was struck by lightening in a hot spring. i have done and seen so much over the last bunches of years i am happy. i also have worked my ass off on this music thing for so long now and bought into the whole myth of 'work hard and you can do anything' or 'your dreams will come true with a little work' bullshit that i kinda just wouldn't care. and rereading this it came across as poor meish. it wasn't like this at all. these thoughts all lasted for about 3 seconds and made me smile and feel good. anyway, after finally getting out of the hot spring with wrinkled fingertips and 3 hours of waterlogging we ate some food and had another dollar beer. i wanted to watch the country band and all the real deal cowboys dancing to it but todd wanted to leave and on account of the car being his i had to oblige. i am starting to get the feeling todd doesn't really like people and that might be why we avoid all these lovely little villages or never stop anywhere that contains people. anyway, it also made sense to go since we didn't have anywhere to stay. we found some back roads into a national forest and snuck into another campground for free. i fell asleep to the sounds of a rushing river and the wind in the trees.

go west: day seven.

2010-07-13T11:44:00.000-07:00

yellowstone is mountains and valleys and meadows and lakes and forests and fields and wildflowers of deep blues and purples and pinks and yellows in between dusty green sagebrush and rock and cliffs and waterfalls and canyons and the ruins of burned out forests and snowcapped peaks and winding rivers and pine trees and desert outcrops. add to this boiling fumeroles and spouting geysers and colourful painted pots and bubbling mud and rising steam and the bluest of hot pools and orange algae rivers and almost fluorescent green puddles with herds of bison wandering about. we spent the whole day driving around and exploring and gawking and talking shit on a lot of the other tourists. at one point we realize todd's car is leaking oil and we head to a service station. we sit around waiting for someone and drink cans of pabst and swat mosquitoes. we give up and decide to find a campground and that is when the night turns into one of the the strangest yet most lovely of nights. we find all of the campgrounds to be full and head out of yellowstone park into montana and into some national forests but find their campgrounds to be full. so we head back towards yellowstone and a small town called silvergate right on the border of the park. we check into this weird small motel and the guy gives us a small room which seemed to already have someone in it. i go back and tell him this and then and he hooked us up by putting us in this old lodge beside the motel. we walk over and it is pitch black and we have to sneak into some side door to get in. there was no one in there. no caretakers or other guests. no one. and it was dark! we walked around inside completely in awe. it has been scheduled for landmark status and apparently was the old cowboy brothel (and it still had the names of the girls on the doors to each room). we looked around the upstairs and picked the room with bunkbeds (aka reba's room) in case we had to deal with crazies in the middle of the night. yes, it was kind of that scary, strange, and surreal. we went back to the motel which had a big fire pit in front. we drank beer with an old trucker and a young girl who was travelling with her folks and looking for a much needed break from them. it was pretty amazing to be under so many stars with a couple of strangers drinking beer and shooting the shit. across the street was an old wooden cafe that looked like something right out of twin peaks. it was lit up by a couple of neon signs but everything was dark inside. there was faint music coming from somewhere in the back. "where there's always music in the air". it was completely surreal and wonderful! we were the last ones left and we talked about age and about how people try to pin that on you and pin you down and think they have you figured out and then we went back over the the old lodge and went inside. we played around being the only ones in there and explored for a bit. it was amazing!

go west: day six.

2010-07-13T10:40:00.000-07:00

we looked around the badlands some more before heading into the black hills of south dakota. we stopped for coffee and tips on swimming holes. we drove through the black hills and found one. from there we drove into wyoming and clear across the northern tip of it. we passed through a town called tensleeps (which i would have loved to putter around in for a while!!!) i saw huge rock hills that were fiery orange and blood red. it was incredible. we took back roads and saw maybe one other car during the two hours we were on it. we had to drive slow to avoid the millions of deer as the evening turned into night. we eventually found a campground in buffallo bill national forest just outside of yellowstone. i fell asleep in the dark dark beautiful night.

hours: 10.5
miles: 580
km: 933

go west: day five.

2010-07-12T10:57:00.000-07:00

we woke up in wall. we headed to the famous wall drug. we wandered about and gawked at all the american kitsch so extreme it bordered on art. i drank 6 cups of 5 cent coffee. yep! i spent 30 cents on coffee. i love wall drug!!! we went back to the saloon from the night before and watched the spain vs. germany world cup semi final game and drank some high life's and ate veggie burgers. afterwards we went into the badlands and set up camp in the primitive campsite (primitive = no running water, in the middle of nowhere, and free). the badlands is an absolutely gorgeous place. maybe one of my favourite places i have ever visited. there are prairie lands stretching as far as you can see which are interrupted by these big looming pointy and colourful piles of sediment. they look like small mountains. there are herds of wild buffalo everywhere. the sky is huge and majestic. there is constantly a bird singing the most beautiful song. i wish i knew what kind of bird it was because it is so lovely. at some point we went for a hike through some of the badland canyons. it was incredible. scary steep vistas leading to majestic views. then back to the camp for dinner and a bottle of wine. the stars came out. there were so many sometimes i would forget and think a stretch of it (the milky way) was clouds. i fell fast asleep in my tent with the night sky alight above listening to such a beautiful quiet. not silence, but thick and deep quiet.

hours: the whole day
miles: dunno
km: dunno

go west: day four.

2010-07-12T10:38:00.000-07:00

we awoke and started driving west. heading across the state of minnesota and eventually clear across south dakota into the badlands. but before all that we stopped at a small town called fairmount and found a mexican dive bar and watched holland barely beat uruguay in the world cup semi finals. more driving and soon more rain. at points it was torrential downpours full of hail and zero visablity. when it finally gave way we were rewarded with one of the most beautiful sunsets i have ever seen. we watched it for a while and headed to wall which is just outside of the badlands. we got ourselves a small cabin on the outskirts of the tiny town because everything was soaking wet. we headed to a bar and got drunk with a girl from kazakhstan. from there we went to another bar and got leathered. then i did some late night skateboarding around the quiet little town before wobbling back to our cabin and falling fast alseep.

hours: 8
miles: 470
km: 756

go west: day three.

2010-07-12T10:25:00.000-07:00

we spent most of the day driving. not in a bad way or anything. it was all rather lovely. we spent the first few hours driving along the bottom of lake superior before heading south through pretty wisconsin and stopping at the mississippi river on the minnesota side. we made some food and took a wade in the old mississippi. we got back in the car and kept going along some back roads and drove through a great little town called stillwater. todd and i travel really well together but the one thing we are different is with cities and towns. i love seeing everything i can. whether it is nature or cities or towns. i am fine with skipping the cities on this trip but driving through stillwater was so lovely. i really wanted to stop and stroll through its streets along the mississippi. but we went on. oh well. we were looking for campgrounds as the night sky turned to storms. soon there were heavy downpours so we decided on a motel in albert lea minnessota. we watched law & order and fell asleep.

hours:10
miles: 515
km: 829

go west: day two.

2010-07-05T22:42:00.000-07:00

we said our goodbyes to my family and drove to tobermory. we tried to go for a swim in georgian bay but it was freezing cold. then we caught the chi-chimaun ferry to manatoulin island. it was a gorgeous heather filled roadside drive across the island. we met up with the trans canada highway and stopped going north and began heading west. we spent most of the day driving with the odd lakeside or riverside stop. we stopped at a wal-mart in sault st marie canada so i could buy a tent (to return later). it closed at 10pm. we were 5 minutes late. crossed the border and were searched by 5 of homeland securities finest for about 1/2 hour. once we left we found a wal-mart in sault st marie america which was open 24 hours. we chanted u.s.a! - u.s.a! - u.s.a! from there we took a back road (hwy 28) and i got pulled over. anyone who knows me know that i have amazing police radar so it is shocking i was pulled over. but the bastard got me while driving in the other direction. they took my license away because i didn't have $100 in cash to pay him. i felt like i was on the dukes of hazzard. looks like i am driving to vancouver without a license. afterwards it started raining pretty hard. we drove until about 2am into the hiawartha national forest and found ourselves a free campsite. it was humid and hot and made for a terrible time trying to fall asleep. i remember thinking "i fucking hate camping" before finally falling asleep.

hours:12
miles: 429
km: 691

go west: day one.

2010-07-05T22:30:00.000-07:00

i left montreal on the via rail train. pretty much a lovely ride. spent most of my time on the internet or working on music. once i arrived i caught the go train from toronto to milton and met up with todd. we drove to my parents house in port elgin. drank some beer and slept.

hours:10
miles: 503
km: 810

record release

2010-07-01T09:14:00.000-07:00

so my record is out. has been for a couple of months at this point. we had a record release party in montreal last night. i am not really sure why. people i know in montreal have always seemed to prefer to spend their money on drugs than music. the people who actually did buy my record and cd were from winnipeg, brooklyn, and philadelphia. go figure. it was strange to me that not one single montreal 'friend' of mine bought anything from me. hiho.

but! i had a really fun time playing. bethany, who wasn't on the tour but is all over my record, came up and played a set of her music (as the feverfew) before joining in with me for a wonderfully fun little set. corey (who busted his ass getting the show together and i'd like to thank him for that) played a set of music under his name toboggan to close the night out.

i also got this really nice article about me in nomag:
mapping a new familiar.

the golden hour tour #6

2010-06-04T09:13:00.001-07:00

and london again!

and i find out this is the last night of the tour for me. no newcastle. i have to catch a ferry to holland and it is 200 pounds from newcastle and only 60 pounds from london. so i buy me a ticket from london. a ticket for a train to a boat to a train.

and we are outside the green note. jason and i are knocking back cans of shitty beer. and people come. and i play and it is really fun. people like it. then readings. then jed & hailey & jen played the song that i love and it pretty near makes me cry. and i don't want this to be over because we will all go back to our lives and get busy and forget every second of this magic. i know everything will be fine. i know life will go on. but sometimes i wish it wouldn't. i might run back to them if the goddamn tube ran all night in this fucking city. and i don't ever want to trade wonder for reason.

being lucky is hard work. the most prolific moments are always the hardest. this is just my opinion obviously. what the fuck do i really know anyway? the golden hour was really not utopian or anything like that. but we tried our best and gave it our all. and i hope this doesn't mean i don't go with them. and them with me. onto different corners. as jed would say, leaving circles behind. i remember when i was little and my parents took me to an amusement park called canada's wonderland and when we left i was so tired but i couldn't sleep because i had so much fun and i didn't want it to end and i was filled with happiness and sadness and confusion. it is a lot like that right now. except times 1000.

combining spirit...
and dreams....
and liquor....
and longing....
and fear...
and clouds...
and sleeplessness...
and smiles....
and heartache...
and flat tires....
and laughter....
and tears...
and beer...
and beaches with pebbles instead of sand...
and...
gypsy music
and techno
and sandwiches
and strangers
and friends
and loneliness
and ridiculousness
and a hint of will this ever happen again?

life accelerated
taking moments
and experience
and momentum
and adventure
and compacting it
and letting it happen
it is completely unsustainable
and dangerous
and killing us
but more beautifully than the rest of the world
and i want to feel every fucking second of this for the rest of my life....

and then it is over and i drink too much because i don't want it to end. i say goodbye to ryan and i thank him for making this happen and don't lie when i tell him this is one of my favourite adventures ever; i say goodbye to hailey and don't lie when i tell her she is one of the best and weirdest and funniest people i have ever met and i really will miss her the most; i say goodbye to jen and i don't lie when i tell her we should always be friends and that she should come visit new york and that she has a heart made of gold; i say goodbye to jed and i thank him for all the sound and work and shared driving and i don't lie when i tell him i will be back in edinburgh and we will work on music together at his studio; i don't say bye to jason because i can't find him but i wouldn't have lied when i told him that he is a totally solid badass lovely human being and that i liked him from the moment i met him and that this tour would not nearly have been the same without him; and i can't find jane either and i wouldn't have lied when i told her she is rowdy and fun and that i am honoured that she got me on this tour....

and then i am in a car. heading away from it all. to an old friends house. to a bed. to sleep. except i can't sleep. i keep thinking about all that has just happened. and i want to write these words...

... and then i get this message from jason: "you left some of your vinyl and some sort of of EQ type thing in a box on the MOTHERFUCKING STREET! well some guy ran up and gave it to me. if you get this before we leave london (9amish?) we might be able to rendezvous...."

the golden hour tour #5

2010-06-03T13:57:00.000-07:00

and london!

it was supposed to be the easy drive day. just one hour. and it was one hour to london. and then an hour and a half to get through it to hackney, where we were playing. and it is sweltering and i am ill from the drink and the lack of sleep and i haven't eaten yet and within ten minutes of waking up i turned to hailley and said 'this is the worst day of the tour' and her eyes agreed.

and then we were there. and it is an old closed down pub and there is confusion and we enter a back way and it is the secret venue that we had been told and told people about and it is fucking amazing. the old pub is exactly the way it was when it was closed. there has been random art and candles and faerie lights added and people live all above it and in the shed in the back and there is a garden courtyard full of food cooking and people playing instruments and i hear gypsy music and climb a ladder into a beautiful bedroom i would be more than happy to grow old in and the place fills up and the bike room fills up and a friend from london that i met in montreal shows up with his lovely friend and there is a wonderful feast which sets me straight and i feel good again and there are casks of dark ale or light ale and i turn to hailley and say 'this is the best day of the tour' and her laugh agrees with me and jed is playing banjo and hailley is singing and an older man who i want to be when i grow up is playing accordion and another guy is playing clarinet and there is a stand up bass guy with no shirt on and a 9 inch spliff in his mouth and there are wonderful and strange characters everywhere and everyone is sun drenched and ale fuelled and simon shows up again out of the blue....

the readings start and the music starts and even though people seemed into what i was playing it feels strange on my end and is my least favourite show for playing of the tour and another guy plays after me and it is ambienty guitar stuff and perfect winding down music and soon the sound is off and the crowd dwindles and it is the people who live there and a few of us from the golden hour and simon and we drink quiet ales and no one is sloppy drunk and we talk into the night but not too late and i make my way to the van and build myself a little nest and fall into a deep and much needed sleep.

the golden hour tour #4

2010-06-02T05:52:00.000-07:00

and brighton!

and i drive and i do most of it and i take it as my punishment in my head (for being late) and decide to go the whole way even though i am exhausted and feel like shit. and i can't even do that right. 20 miles outside of brighton i notice i am weaving and i haven't really eaten yet and i need more coffee and i don't want to kill all my friends and we switch and then we are in brighton and we load in to the venue putting all the instruments and merchandise in the office upstairs and i fuck off by myself and i really want to like bristol but it is hot and there are millions of people everywhere and i wander and try to be a tourist but i really don't even want to see the sights and i turn a corner and simon from edinburgh is walking towards me and it equal parts shocks me and doesn't surprise me. i had no idea he was coming and we walk and he takes me to this lovely swedish girls house and it feels good to be around people who aren't cross with me but we have to leave to go back to the venue and soon we are setting up and the day is turning into night and everything starts to feel great again and we are all friends again and i am starting to really like brighton and everyone looks really really great and we play and read and it all goes over well and then we pack up and we go to a park and most of the crowd is there with us and everyone is really happy and jed is playing guitar and there is a really magic moment when he plays a belle and sebastian song and every single person including myself sing along but really quietly and i sort of can't believe any of this is real and that 12 or 15 people are all really really doing this and then there is laughter and making fun of brighton dubstep dancing and we eventually leave the park and the smart thing to do would have been sleep and whatnot but some of us are not very smart and soon hailley, simon, kristina, jane, and i are dancing at some place and more booze and then the sun is coming up and we can't find where we are staying so kristina brings us back to her lovely swedish apartment and we talk of working together on the next tour she as my singer and i fall asleep and we awake about 2 hours later and all of us feel particularly horrible.

the golden hour tour #3

2010-05-29T05:20:00.000-07:00

and bristol!

it just keeps getting better. we arrived and loaded into an old beautiful cinema that has been reclaimed and is used for music and reading and films. we go to a pub for a few pints of cider and i get to see the non ridiculous side of hailey and we have some great conversations about everything really. i decide to go for a long walk around bristol and am reminded that soundcheck is at 6pm. i wander the streets of gritty pretty bristol alone. i find canals and old buildings and parks and incredible graffiti and arrive back at the venue a little after 7pm and everyone is just arriving and soundcheck for jed & hailey & jen hasn't begun and i figure that the whole tour will be me being on time and waiting for people and i wander around the dark building and then soundcheck finally happens and i play right at 8pm straight out of the soundcheck and i do whatever i want and it is nice and then ryan reads a poem and i improvise with some dark into light david lynch sounds underneath it and it sounds incredible with his words and then i finish and move my stuff to the bar and play and i have a really great time besides the lack of people and some behind the scenes sound problems and everyone trying to get their sealegs. there are not so many people here because the person who set it up had some personal issues and did not promote it and forgot to put up posters and it was all just a shame really because there is so much beautiful music and words and fun to be had.

and then i am handed absinthe. and another. and cider and absinthe. and then it is ending and an offer of a place for a few of us to sleep is extended and for some reason i am the only one who goes. and then i am riding a bike with the loveliest of people on the back and we are winding side to side and up and down except not really up because i am out of shape. and we speed down a hill and i feel a hand on my bag strap and soon we are at a row of incredible huge old english houses with 20 foot high ceilings and we go in and there are colours and paintings and fabric and everything is old and beautiful and i am in a place i really only ever dreamt of and we go up floor after floor and everything is vibrant and rich and then we are drinking tea out the back window of the top floor many many stories up and i can make out woods and the avon river and a huge beautiful suspension bridge and i can't believe i get to do this and i feel overwhelmed with joy and sadness and wanderlust and hope and fuck knows what else and i can only think of that line that jed sings every night 'we only leave circles behind'. we only leave circles behind. we only leave circles behind. and it makes some strange perfect beautiful sense i wish i could write a line like that and i ask her if i can hold her hand and we just sit there not needing to say anything and when we do it is lovely and innocent and there is a funny little hint of awkwardness but an awkwardness that is perfect and beautiful...

...and then it is morning. we drink coffee and then we walk in a garden and through a black door in an old stone wall which leads to another garden and then paths through secret woods and alongside abandoned cottages and through sharp thorny bastard bushes and up a hill and there is the old dilapidated bathhouses and a closed up incline and then a hotel. and i know i must leave and i know i am going to be late and we follow that path back and and we are in the house and i meet a fella who makes similar music as i and it feels good to be around someone who knows what i do because i am not sure if anyone on the golden hour even has any idea what it is i actually do and we are walking and it is all up fucking hill and i am loving it but i know it is making me even later and soon we are at the van and some people are nice to me but others are completely pissed and even though all i have done every single day is wait for them i still want to say sorry and i want them to know that i just had one of those moments which will stay with me forever and i try to tell them and i realize it is all coming out wrong and it sounds like i am not giving a fuck about making them wait and am rubbing it in their faces and i can tell ryan is really really pissed off and jane won't look at me and i just shut up and stare out the window until it is my time to drive.

the golden hour tour #2

2010-05-23T03:07:00.001-07:00

and then there was sheffield....

and it was lovely. not even the long drive, terrible traffic, and hot sun which beat down on me the whole time i drove could make the sheffield night not fun.

it was in a tiny but packed venue called the rude shipyard. i played two songs. hahahahaaa. two! but i played the hell out of them. and then there were people. and a beautiful walk back to a big house and laughter and kisses and a cupboard under the stairs with blankets piled two feet deep and a few hours of sleep inside that cupboard under the stairs and then we awake and begin again.

the golden hour tour #1

2010-05-23T03:04:00.000-07:00

so....
i think that this tour is already special. i had some doubts based on the first night and the fact i wasn't told that i wasn't playing. but here i am. and things are incredible. and i know i am a part of something lovely. there are 8 of us in a sprinter and sometimes i am driving and have these moments where i realize these people who i could almost love lives are in my hands as i speed along around 80 miles an hour on the wrong side of the road shifting gears with my left hand instead of my right and the other times i am in the back laughing along with the ridiculous hailey or sitting back and just watching it all unfold...

just ramble & think of ghosts #14

2010-05-20T01:59:00.000-07:00

it is my birthday! i am taking the ferry from androsson harbour to the isle of arran. i am a bit hungover from a day and night out with my uncle edward. he is pretty hilarious. i arrived in saltcoats and met him at the pub. i drank with him and a sailor pal who was covered in tattoos and about 80 years old. we left and went to another pub before heading back to stevenston where i took a nap. it was a good time but a little sad because he lost his wife doreen in the last year and you could tell he wasn't quite sure what to do with himself. anyway, after my nap we went to another pub and drank until the wee hours. now here i am on this ferry...

-

so i stood on the top of the ferry with the wind and occasional sleet whipping past my face. i had the biggest grin. this might be the best birthday ever

-

i have been secretly watching people. i mean, i have always been a people watcher, but i have been really watching them lately. those moments when they are thinking things, or looking out the window of a ferry at the small village and contemplating, or the old man asking for an americano and the young boy replying kindly to him. something about those little human moments. i am like a junkie for them over the past week or so.

-

i am back on the ferry heading towards the mainland. i dunno. everything about what i did today just felt perfect. i don't really want stay outside in the cold rain tonight. for my birthday i took myself to an island, went out to dinner, and took a nice long walk. it really wasn't much money to get here. i would have certainly spent way more than this at a pub. i feel like i am trying to justify changing my adventure and heading back early. i was planning on going there and hitchhiking around the island and sleeping at the standing stones. but then the main road to it is closed and hitchhiking seems like it is not done here because no one picked me up. so i went out for a lovely dinner where i sat at the window of a fancy small restaurant looking at the sea; then strolled around the village of brodick; and then went into the woods for a while. and here i am. heading back to the mainland. i just watched the man unhook the rope and i think i will buy myself a cup of tea. birthdays are for giving yourself treats. from what i have seen form this ship and the wandering around the village arran seems beautiful. i would love to come back here with a certain someone and see it with all of our eyes....

just ramble & think of ghosts #13

2010-05-11T01:14:00.000-07:00

so everything has been a bit of a blur.

ok. a total fucking blur. but i just had the loveliest of nights. i did a soundcheck, played for about 40 minutes to indie rock kids, and left the venue. i walked around this beautiful area alone and thought of her. i was feeling pretty lonesome and for some reason walked along all the terraces from restaurants which are under the railway line. they were mobbed. full of families and lovers and couples and friends. i have no idea what made me want to walk through there like that. just to rub it in or something. i thought of her and us and if she were here how we would be ambling along and watching all the people. i passed tons of eastern european prostitutes with their fishnet stockings and massive heeled boots and smile while politely declining their advances. i was offered a hand job in an alley from a ladyman and said "maybe next time". i found myself with a bottle of beer walking along kastanianallee in mitte. then the U1 and an S75 brought me to friedrichshain and it's spray-painted warehouses, long strange walls, and burning man like atmosphere. i walked past everyone having fun and laughing and smiled a lonely smile to myself. i told her stories about when i was here before and about some history i learned form friends who lived here when there was a wall separating people. i basically spent the night pretending she was with me. i crossed a quiet bridge and there were two girls whispering to one another on it. i knew why. i passed community gardens and the smell of spring hit me. giant trees with purple blossoms were all around me and i realized i had a huge smile spread across my face. i was no longer lonely. i had been reminded why i do what i do and that each and every moment is now. i heard a near perfect silence. i walked along the railway line. i went up and across a bridge. i sat by remnants of the berlin wall. i went back onto the subway and it's huge party like saturday night vibe. people with alcohol everywhere and no one bothering one another. i saw a young fucked up teenage kid trying to pour boozes into a broken wine glass. it was half hilarious and half sad. he started talking with strangers and even though i couldn't understand a word they were saying i could tell they were worried about him trying to drink out of this broken glass and he eventually threw it on the tracks and the three of them cheered. i came home and it is early for once. just a little after one o'clock.

everything truly has been a blur. somehow i was in manchester certain i was in london. and then i was in london. and then i was in berlin and then copenhagan and then berlin. and i played a 4 hour live set in a bar and played in a smart car tent and in a techno club with trains rattling everything as they passed over top every 5 to 10 minutes. there were 11pm indie rock venues and 10am techno clubs and their were planes and trains and buses and airports and starbucks (which felt strangely comfortable but mostly because she was online).

just ramble & think of ghosts #12

2010-05-08T17:13:00.000-07:00

i get up and navigate my way through the marathon runner filled streets of edinburgh to the train station. i used a coupon code and bought my tickets online and find myself in first class. there i am hungover, wearing the same clothes for the last few days which i also just slept in, hair a mess, hungry, and coffee-less while sitting in first class. there is a dog in the seat behind me. the train ride is fantastic. trains are such a more civilized way of travel. people can watch you pull away and blow kisses or run up to you when you arrive or depart. well, if you know people where you are going to or leaving from. which i don't. this thought makes me feel lonesome for a girl. until we travel along some cliffs by the sea and i realize why i do all of this. i think back over the weekend and the epic group of people i met and i wish it all hadn't ended so lame but i did manage to get a few hours of sleep and i feel good enough to fake my way through the day. free biscuits and free coffee for the first class crowd fuel me through the ride and i arrive in york around 4 o'clock. i meet simon at the old venue i have played for him in the past and we head to his house to drop off my unneeded stuff, eat a fantastic meal made of all vegetables, and then head over to the venue for soundcheck. i love playing in york. it is gorgeous and all the people are so so nice. i remember the first time we played here (as mossyrock) and there was a really young band playing first. their mum's and dad's were in the audience and when we came on and the first electronic beat started the dad folded his arms across his chest and sneered. then when we played the second song and finished he turned to his wife and said "this isn't music" loud enough for us to hear. it was amazing! hahahahaa. we knew we were doing something right. there was another time on york when mossyrock was falling apart. all of the shows were going so well but the band was imploding and i knew it. i couldn't be around any of these people anymore. my bandmates. my friends. my lover. and we are about to play at the basement city screen. again. and it is a sold out show and it is all very exciting and we get on stage to find the power off. the power transformer had died. completely dead. we couldn't play. i found myself in the back room smashing it and anything else within reach. now i am that guy in york. oh well, at least we are all friends again. tonight is a new start and even though the duo is just a solo i am excited. simon (who is the promoter who booked me all these times) said that if all the music is there then that is all that matters. a little less guitar and no vocals (other than blips and hiccups). i smile knowing he is right. there are three bands and me. four. i walk into the venue and there is a 7" of the jesus and mary chain darklands mounted on the wall. how perfect. taperecorder cover's the demo version of on the wall on the b-side. all the bands soundcheck and i disappear with jonjo feather, his dad, and danny. we drink at an amazing old pub. then we find and even cooler little pub hidden upstairs. we run back and it is time for me to go on. i set up sideways the way i did with mossyrock and with bethany if she were there. i start with gatineau which i have never ever played before. it goes over well. i keep going and i have a great fucking time. in hindsight there is one thing i wished i did which was to stop after the third song and introduce myself. then stop after the 6th song and explain why a duo is solo. and then at the end maybe have chilled it back out again. i dunno. i had fun. a lot. jonjo feather was great and marble valley were amazing. they were not the nicest guys earlier but - well - you know those people who are just dicks in a good way? that was them. their show was fun it it felt great to play with the drummer of pavement in a small venue in york. and then the bar. and a lock in with a really sweet group of people. and new friends and it feels so wonderful to be surrounded by such beautiful people. and simon disappears and i stay longer even though i am exhausted. and then a cab and i am back at his house and in my sleeping bag and i fall asleep thinking of home and all that that entails....

just ramble & think of ghosts #11

2010-05-05T17:30:00.000-07:00

edinblurrr.....

so i was sad to leave the murder capital of europe but got on a bus heading to edinburgh anyway. i actually took an earlier bus because it started pouring rain in glasgow which meant i got to edinburgh much earlier than i had told my friends. i got off the bus and just sort of wandered around and suddenly bumped into dai jones who was on his way to meet me. he took me towards a coffee shop and on the way we bump into jane who was also on her way to meet me. soon we drop all my stuff off at dai's flat and pick up a leonna and walk away from the medieval city and into the hills. we have an ample supply of cider and wine and walk around the blackfoot pond and up into the hills. we find an old quarry and climb some big rocks and talk and drink and laugh. soon we are joined by simon from iceland and a hilarious irishman named mark. so there were six of us. mark tells stories and everything that comes out of his mouth is either really poignant or fucking hilarious - every once in a while ending his stories with "come on, let's get the fuck out of here and go get some cake". we walk back along a small river and try to cross back and forth and a couple people get wet and then we are back in town and in a pub and then another pub and then a pub where dai's wonderful girlfriend era works and edinburgh is really starting off on a high note!

we awake and go to a 1pm movie. it is todd solondz follow up to happiness. it is just as miserable and depressing as the first. beautiful to look at and hard to watch. from there we go to a pub and then i leave dai and go to jane's for a dinner and it is fucking lovely and i feel right at home like i am in my own apartment back in brooklyn. i sleep over there and sleep really well after the rough sleep from the previous night.

we wake up again and all meet at dai's house. we board a bus and climb to the top of the double decker. once again supplied with ample bottles of wine and cider, and we take it for a good hour out into the outskirts of edinburgh to a small town on the firth of forth. there is a small island you can walk to at low tide but for now the path is completely under water. we walk along a nice river and find a tree up a hill with roots going all the way down to the bottom. we climb up and drink and laugh some more. although it seems much more quiet this time. we walk further and find a waterfall. we walk even further and stop in the woods along the river and it is all so fucking lovely and dogs pass by and jamiroquai is insulted and jane has to leave and chris leaves with her and now it is only dai, era, leonna, and i left. we walk back down towards the little village of cramore and dai and leonna try to cross the river and both get soaked. then to a pub to warm up and swallow a few jars. we leave it with our pints and walk across the path to the island because it is now low tide. it is gorgeous and eerie and quiet and beautiful out there. we stay for a while and soon we must flee because the tides are out and i think era is mad at dai or something and the bus ride back is quiet and we have a pint at another pub and then we head home and i have a terrible sleep and wake up feeling completely haggard and wonky.

and i wake up into beltane. a big sort of earthy hippy festival of fire in edinburgh. i know what the real day is but in this city all the hippies paint themselves blue or red or black and wear no clothes and then i play at the forest and it is early and most of my friends don't even listen to me play but there are a few others that i can tell are right into it and i play for them (and me of course). and then we leave and i play at the roxy. which is much better and even though the sound is so bad i have to wear headphones it still goes over well and people even dance and then it is a dj party after and we all eat mushrooms and then we leave and go to a really lovely fella name jamie's house. this is my favourite part of the night. it is hilarious and people are dancing and walking on tables and there is a machine that makes water spin and everyone is good and fucked and it all ends far too soon to go to the beltane afterparty that everyone had made fake tickets for and i see a fight on the street and then we go down an alley and there are all those red people and the fake tickets don't work except for some reason mine is the only yellow one and i am brought back to the back v.i.p. entrance and i walk in and it is half cool and half mediocre. there were definitely people who were totally into it but as many people who may as well have been shouting "hey! look at me! look at me!" and at one point it feels like a satanic rave right out of some lame movie and then bagpipes start and i laugh at the movie title that pops into my head 'satanic scoittish rave 3". then we leave and everything is strange between me and someone and jane thankfully rescues me by bringing me to her house and we snuggle and sleep not long enough but deeply.

and then we are outside again. we have a proper scottish fry up before going to the park. more booze. i drank a lovely raspberry beer. and we are at arthurs seat? i think? i thought we were going to the sea. and then we are back at janes and we eat so much food. it is warm and comfy and cozy. then a decision is reached to go out. jane smartly bails. i want to stay. i am so exhausted and i have 12 more days of shows. she offers her floor or bed and i accept. but then a little voice in my head says something else. and then a little voice not in my head says something else. and every reason i give for wanting to stay this voice shoots down. i know completely what i want and need to do but i don't listen. we leave janes and walk down the road. dai was feeling sick and throws up. a lot. all the way down a few blocks. finally this is too much for leonna and she runs down an alley and throws up. dai keeps going and eventually i throw up in a doorway. it is fucking ridiculous. and then i am kind of bored at a cheesy bar. and then back at dai's house. exhausted and feeling sick. and then i am awakened after just falling asleep and i snap. i am so pissed off at myself for not listening to myself. i knew exactly what i needed and i ignored it. i am terribly angry and i pack my shit up and leave. i need sleep. if jane doesn't wake up i will find a spot in the park. she does. we giggle. i sleep....

just ramble & think of ghosts!!! out today

2010-05-01T07:17:00.000-07:00

<a href="http://tprcrdr.bandcamp.com/album/just-ramble-think-of-ghosts">gatineau by taperecorder</a>

just ramble & think of ghosts #10

2010-04-26T08:45:00.000-07:00

guess who just woke up after a lovely 8 hours of sleep and accidentally took an ambien with his vitamins?

night night y'all....

just ramble & think of ghosts #9

2010-04-24T05:20:00.000-07:00

i fucking love glasgow.

there is just something about it. i am not sure exactly what it is but somewhere amidst all of the drink, the violence, the decay, the pish filled doorways, and the drunk girls dressed like strippers making their way to mcdonalds - there is just something so much more honest that glasgow offers which edinburgh or london will never have.

i think that in general glaswegians are some of the nicest people you will ever meet and that there are pockets of this city which are unbelievably beautiful. i spent much of today in the center of glasgow. mostly in coffee shops trying to sort out transportation for my tour via the free internet. when i had figured a bunch of it out i went into the university area and beyers road and wandered around. i love it out there. it is gorgeous to look at as well as full of fun interesting people. i hit up a cute little bar and drank cloudy cider on the outdoor balcony, and then drank more cloudy cider in the warmer beautiful indoor bar. then i got on a double decker bus and did what i did when i was a kid living in this place: i rode right at the front of the bus on the second floor. except this time around i was alone with a bottle of cider and my thoughts and the dark glasgow night. i have myself a pass so found myself just traipsing all over the city with no real destination.

when i made my way home and got off the bus in possil park (right on the cusp of springburn) i walked along a back street and just before i passed the house where my father was actually born i suddenly found myself face to face and about 10 feet away from a fox. we just stopped and watched one another, neither of us moving. for about 5 whole minutes. he was beautiful.

just ramble & think of ghosts #8

2010-04-24T05:11:00.001-07:00

if you were here i'd tell you everything.

things you knew. things you'd want to hear. things you'd pretend to care about. things that mattered. things that didn't. things we would do (whether or not we actually would). things about us. things about other stuff. drunk things. truthful things. secret things. dirty things. stuff i have already told you things. my dreams. our dreams. and then i would listen. for hours. to what you would tell me. and every second would matter.

and somewhere in all of that i hope to hell i would remember to thank you for helping me map a new familiar.

to you. beautiful fucking brilliant you.

just ramble & think of ghosts #7

2010-04-23T10:36:00.000-07:00

escape.

i went to bed around 2am and and woke up at 5. i walked thru the dark reykjavik morning listening to the birds sing heading as fast as i could towards the skybus. i made it and sat at the front of the packed bus and while we drove towards the airport in keflavik. a young french girl spoke to her mother behind me. when we arrived the sun was coming up and there was not the slightest hint of the chaos that was waiting for everyone inside the airport. we all waited in a huge line and there i saw the english people i met at the hot pools and the canadian brothers i met at the bar and we all made the best of it even when they announced that the check in computers had gone down and stayed down for about an hour. finally i was told that i could get on a flight that was heading to manchester first. i said goodbye to the two canadian brothers who were heading to amsterdam and saw my two english friends on the plane. just before we took off the two canadian brothers got on. the plane to amsterdam was full so they jumped on this plane. volcano chaos! the ride was uneventful and much shorter than i realized. we left two hours late and arived in manchester first before the plane went on to glasgow. fucking england being as annoying as it is made everyone get off the plane and go through security (shoes off, belt off, pants falling down while laptops are being taken out, body pat down, and metal detectors. then walking in a huge circle back to the plane we were already on to the seats we that were already ours and which we had all already been thoroughly searched for in reykjavik. somewhere in the middle of all of this and with the lack of sleep on the 40 minute flight from manchester to glasgow i misplaced my passport. when i got off in glasgow and was walking to customs i realized it wasn't where i always put it. i looked and couldn't find it. i told a security woman who smiled and told me to look again while she radioed someone to look around my seat back on the plane (16F). i was panicky as fuck. she told me to relax and take a deep breath all with a glasgow smile and that glasgow twinkle in her eye. after about 5 minutes it was found back on the plane and i wanted to hug this amazing woman and then i went through customs and he was nice (and informed me i was actually a dual national) and then into the terminal and news cameras filming the first wave of passengers who were beginning to trickle back into britain and i pass by them and i realize i am in glasgow and this brings a huge grin to my face and i overhear a conversation about a starbucks and head there because it is after 4pm and i haven't had a cup of coffee yet and i order a large one and get on a bus with free wifi and i talk to someone i adore and miss and then i switch buses and head to my auntie cathy and uncle james house for a big veggie curry and a few cans of lager.

just ramble & think of ghosts #6

2010-04-22T07:17:00.000-07:00

geothermal pools! so the whole of reykjavik's hot water comes from the earth. when you turn the hot water on in the shower it is coming right out of the ground. it is boiling hot and has this teeny hint of sulphur. so all over the city they have these pools where everyone can go and for less than the price of a cup of coffee you can swim in big warm pool, soak in hot to boiling hot tub, or sit in a steam room all thanks to the icelandic earth. so i did that. every single day. for as long as i could... on the monday i did the usual coffee at babalu and then wandered along the sea towards the biggest of the water places. it was about a 40 minute walk and when i got there i found two olympic sized pools (one was indoor), a huge shallow pool with a warm waterslide (which scared the shit out of me not only the first time but every other time i went down it afterwards), a medium sized warm pool, a really shallow warm pool and then 4 hot pools (38, 40, 42, and 44 degrees - the last of which i could barely even get into it was so hot) and then a tub of hot sea water. pretty much a dream come true for me. i was sitting in one of the less hot and bigger warm pools when i overheard a conversation between this english couple. it was about the sun hitting the earth on a different angle and about how that makes people in iceland tanned and i had actually been thinking about how i went from pale to tan without the usual red burny look that very morning but on top of it all they seemed like a lovely couple and i hadn't really made many friends here yet and so i just sort of blurted something out and then we were talking and quickly becoming friends in that way travellers often do. they had been stranded by the volcano but were quite happy about it. we walked back to the centre of reykjavik together and made plans to meet up later that night. i wandered around some more and found this amazing old graveyard. it was like a thick dense forest with tombstones everywhere. trees were growing right out of graves and it was so lovely and spooky looking. i met up with the english couple and two canadian brothers that night at this great cafe called prikid. i think it is the oldest cafe in iceland. we had some beers (not the english couple) and then i walked them home before going to find my bike.

i rode all along the waterfront again and found myself in the shipping docks and i climbed onto a crazy old boat and explored for a while. a security car came by and i laid down and waited until it left. i rode all along the water again and through the streets until i could no longer feel my fingers from the brutal cold north winds.

just ramble & think of ghosts #5

2010-04-18T17:56:00.001-07:00

icelandic people love hot dogs and think mike meyers is funny.

tonight the switch happened. it happens on most trips i take like this. when suddenly i am free of the things that were holding me back and still occupying me from my 'real life'. i woke up feeling kind of sleepy and off kilter. i spent much of the day drinking coffee as usual before heading off for over two hours at the local geothermal pool. it set me right and when i came back to my place lukas and philipa invited me to dinner. we ate fancy organic white flour free pizza. it looked so bizarre but was incredibly tasty. i want another one right now. i decided to go for a walk and then i went to a bar where a friend of some montreal friends was working. her name is lilja she was a total sweetheart. (two friends of mine were here a year or so ago and met her and suggested we meet up). they were playing 'so, i married an axe murderer' at the bar and people were actually laughing at it. anyway, afterwards i went for a walk and found a bike. well, i found it a few days ago and left it just in case some drunk person forgot it. i went back to check and it was still there. so i took it for a ride. the city was deserted and howling winds were coming off the sea and battering everything in sight. in the brief moments when the winds took a break there was the most beautiful silence throughout the entire city. i sped along the lake towards a bridge that was lit up with neon and realized this whole time i have been trying to figure reykjavik out and here she was letting me in on a secret. i had the biggest fucking grin on my face and a belly full of butterflies. i zig zagged through her streets and all the colourful houses that look like the offspring of an orgy between victorian houses had a maine fishing village. i saw some people filming something through a window and other people reading by candlelight and for a good 55 minutes i had reykjavik to myself. i eventually returned the bike and am now inside my sleeping bag writing this to the sound of the angry wind.

night night.

just ramble & think of ghosts #4

2010-04-17T15:49:00.000-07:00

a german, a swiss, a slovak, a portugese, and an american walk into a bar. this is going thru my head as we drive back towards a gorgeous sunset over reykjavik. we are not walking into a bar we are all in a car coming home from what was quite possibly THE BEST DAY EVER.

quite possibly THE BEST DAY EVER began with me waking up after 11am. it is the first time i have slept 8 hours in about a month. i have been lucky enough to get about 5 hours of sleep on most nights. anyway, one of the few things i really wanted to do in iceland was go to the hot river i had read about. within five minutes of waking up my couchsurfing hosts asked me if i wanted to go there. they would drive. fuck yes!!!

i wandered through the gorgeous sunny reykjavik day to get some coffee while thinking about how we are only 150 km away from the volcano that has shut down european airspace and there is not even a hint that anything is wrong.

then we were in a car. lukas from slovakia driving, philipa from portugal in the passenger seat, sam from switzerland and me from americanada in the back. driving southeast. out of reykjavik. the city just ends and it is countryside. everything is sort of bleak and barren. mountains in the distance and the only colours are a burnt grass gold, old lava grey, and a strange mossy off-green. we drive towards the mountains we see in the distance and start going up and over. once at the top just as we start descending we can see the ocean. then we catch a glimpse of the menace spewing smoke into the sky. we drive down and wind around and around and suddenly we are very close to the sea. we make a left into a tiny town, drive through and away from it. we leave the paved road for gravel. but black volcanic gravel. we drive for a while and the road ends. we get out and follow a small stream. i stick my hand in and find that it is tepid. we follow a path up into the mountains and hike for about an hour. we stop a lot to look at the stunning views, boiling fumeroles, and clouds of steam rolling past us. we have to jump a stream and traverse a marsh (me in my skateboard sneakers). there are small snowflakes falling all around us and i feel so goddamn lucky to be alive. we finally arrive to the spot where the boiling river and icy cold river meet but the other three keep following it up further. fuck that. i stripped down in the freezing cold, walked in the boiling river towards the happy medium, introduced myself to the people who made it here before us, and had some wonderful new friends for the rest of the afternoon. how do i describe in words a boiling river meeting a icy river surrounded by steam dotted mountains while a slight snow falls all around a bunch of people from all over the world who have just become friends and the german girl goes up a small hill and breaks off icicles for everyone to suck on while they float in hot water and the sun is shining down all over everyone? goddamn this is probably THE BEST DAY EVER. my crew come back and join us. i spend a long time floating in a spot where one side of my body is almost too hot and the other is freezing, slowly but constantly rolling over to heat the cold side of me up and cool the hot side of me down. we were in there for hours. for a long long time. once the sun dipped behind the highest of mountains (around 8 o'clock at night!) everyone got out. i was the last to leave and would have gladly stayed another hour or two. we dress and begin the hike back. i noticed that ice had formed from the steam of the fumeroles and there were thousands of ice crystals everywhere. sam and i did most of the walk talking about home and what it meant. we met back at the car and decided to keep driving away from reykjavik towards the volcano. we passed thru another small town about 20 minutes later and then got off the main road and drove along a small road where we had an amazing view of the volcano under the glacier. the sun made the glacier shine in a beautiful blue colour while thick grey plumes of ash spewed out and fluffy white clouds of steam billowed around it all. it was simply stunning to catch a glimpse of this volcano which has terrorized the european skies.

after a wile we drove back stopping once for hot chocolate and again to pick up one of the people who we had hung out with in the hot river. they were all hitchhiking back to reykjavik but we only had room for one so the german icicle girl (who is named eva) jumped in. we drove back over the mountains and saw the sky coloured with pastel pinks and deep oranges and baby blues. we dropped eva off and went home and made a huge feast at 11 o'clock at night. whiskey was consumed, food was devoured, talk was good and funny, and portugese deserts were delicious.

philipa went to bed and the three boys went out for a beer. we went to a bar that i totally loved. it was right up my alley. good music properly mixed, beautiful icelandic people, very local, not too young of a crowd. i really didn't do much of anything while there except people watch. iceland is so strange and weird. there was a foos ball table (they love this shit!) and i was roped into a few games. it was funny to play because i realized i was half playing foos ball and half dancing. more beer, more people watching, so many strange, elfish beautiful people. there was a photobooth which was the first and only on in iceland. people seemed to love it. and then we left and walked along the shit show that is reykjavik on a saturday night at 4am. people staggering along the main street, girls falling down, boys puking, glass smashing sounds everywhere, the smell of piss and beer all around.

then off to bed.

just ramble & think of ghosts #3

2010-04-17T04:49:00.000-07:00

iceland is fucking cold y'all!

it is 0 degrees (32) which might not sound so bad. but there is this terrifying wind coming off the sea along with the cold. it is brutal! yesterday was spent camped out in cozy cafes with coffee and tea before an extended stay in a geothermal pool. the night was spent playing strange but fun board games. life is good.

just ramble & think of ghosts #2

2010-04-16T02:33:00.000-07:00

well guess who is bright eyed and busy tailed at 8am? me! ok, well bright eyed and bushy tailed is certainly a stretch, but i am awake and their appears to be sunshine. a wee cup of tea and then i will be off. i am actually in quite a bit of pain. i think on account of missing a night of sleep and passing out really hard last night i might have slept in a strange position and not moved all night from it. i have a massive banana shaped knot in my right shoulder. looks like i will have to explore more of those hot springs pools that i found myself in last night.

-

so anyway, i left my apartment in sunny warm brooklyn in the late afternoon and arrived in cold foggy reykjavik in the early morning. the flight was nice. i was a bit tipsy from using the airport bar to cure stress. i watched the 80's film wall street and then stared out the window at the stars. i can never sleep on planes so the stars soon faded as dawn slowly made her appearance. the sky became sunny and bright before we descended through the grey and white and fluffy and endless clouds into a dull misty fog. i was staring down at the ocean before the plane turned and soon i was staring at icleand. the approach was incredible and the fog seemed to be on either side of the plane but the sky was clear around us. the only thought i had in my head was 'no wonder they still believe in faeries'.

we departed the plane and had to go through a security search exactly the same as when you go on a plane. laptops out, shoes off, pants inching down because your belt must be removed. i was too groggy to really give a fuck. then a stamp in my passport, a declaration of a bottle of whiskey at customs, collect my suitcase, i ask for a return bus ticket to reykjavik and the blond haired high cheek boned girl replies "35,000 please".

the drive from keflavik to reykjavik was strange and rather bleak. black & grey rocks covered in a strange green moss with the sea appearing now and again as a reminder. golden wet hills dot the background and there is smoke billowing way off in the distance. there are two active volcanoes happening right now and i learn that all flights to the u.k. and northern europe are cancelled when i check my email and find a bunch of emails from friends and my mum. i thought the bus was bringing me into town
and they stop at some bus station and leave me and i have to cab the rest of the way because i have no idea where i am. i think it probably cost me so much money but i am too tired to worry.

i meet my new friends and we drink tea as one runs out the door to work. a small nap and i awake and take a walk. they live one block away from the main shopping, cafe, and bar filled street called laugavegur in the heart of downtown. i walk along it and am pleasantly surprised to find no american chains (besides a subway). it is much greyer out now and misty. i find myself at the sea but there is a big ugly fence between me and her. it starts to rain harder and i head into a gallery. i look around for a while and then find a beautiful cafe with a huge modern design type window and i sit and drink coffee and stare out and even though reykjavik is a lot different than i imagined i notice a small smile is spread across my pale weary face. it pretty much stays there for the rest of the day and long into the night.

more walking and more rain and more coffee. i sit in the window of a gorgeous little coffee place and watch people and rain. i eventually head home and have a big meal of crepes with lukas and philipa. afterwards over a glass of whiskey we decide to go to one of the geothermal pools. it is only a few blocks away and when we arrive i find four different sized pools of various temperatures from lukewarm to hot! i am in heaven. we spen over an hour and reluctantly leave because it is closing. then a great little bar with foosball and pint of viking beer.

you know, i could get used to this place very very quickly!

just ramble & think of ghosts #1

2010-04-14T08:53:00.000-07:00

so today is the day! it is here. i leave for iceland in a few hours. woop woop!

i am actually terrified....

months and months of hard work have lead up to this moment. not shitty hard work like being a miner or a demolition crew or something like that. but still so much work. and all for absolutely no money.

the records are here. they look beautiful. i screenprinted 75 cd's and covers last night. i have practised a little bit. i wish i had another week. everything else will have be done from the road.

-

i am lucky to be doing this. it's hard work and you have to live cheaply but i am still lucky. and i know this. the being terrified part comes into play when i come home from this all. in the middle of a bad recession i left my job, traded my safety nest for records, uprooted myself to wander. i am basically gambling it all away on poppa's got a moustache in the 3rd! come on poppa's moustache! come on boy!

ok. wish me luck.

rain.

2010-03-30T07:51:00.000-07:00

i am watching the rain fall. through it i can see skeleton trees standing among the green slick banks along the chocolate brown perkiomen river.

besides mastering the album we are finished. it feels good to be done. now the inevitable what's next? how do i get this out to people? what label would like this music? where do i go from here?

it is cold and damp and quite possibly lovely right now. today i will make my way back to the R5 to the chinatown bus to the F train to the A train to the G train. a hot bath? pack. sleep. wake up early. G to the A to the air train to JFK to toronto to my family.

am i being overly ambitious? two albums at once? they are two very different projects that make a nice whole. back to back they flow beautifully. does anyone really care?

just ramble & think of ghosts + the devil is a busy man = taperecorder.

everyone is asleep but me. even the cat and dog. early morning rambles. wawa coffee. sleep cycles out of whack. raindrops pitter, patter, and plop. thoughts beyond music (which is rare these past few weeks) settling in. wondering about a friends lack of interest. wondering about a girl. wondering about money and the lack of it. wondering about another friend and the lack of reply to a simple question. thoughts, click click, blah blah, one to the other to another. fuck it.

i suppose i should pack. then a few last minute tweaks on a remix we busted our ass to do for a release that is being put out by someone who hasn't really shown a hint of interest in it. it is more of a cover/remix and if it wasn't so goddamn good i might be more disappointed in it all.

i think i will watch the rain fall some more.

early.

2010-03-29T18:18:00.000-07:00

i am out at the spock river research lab finishing 'the devil is a busy man'. we've been out here for a few days now. we went to bed last night around 5am and woke up at 7:30am to record bethany and her fucking lovely vocals. she had come straight from her night shift where she works and showed up with coffee and donuts. despite all of us feeling completely cracked out there was something special about it all. the surrealness, the vocals coming together so easily, the mist on the river, the grey tumultuous sky, jessica glimpsing it all from her work in far off montreal via video chat. we recorded until about 11am and bethany left to go home to bed. i fell asleep about an hour later and slept until 3. everything seems slightly off kilter and is burning a bit brighter.

cold.

2010-03-26T23:34:00.000-07:00

oh internet, oh internet! what would i do without ye? where would i spend a half hour sobering up before bed? i am also avoiding my heatless icy cold bedroom....

i was just passing pratt, just before classon ave on dekalb when i realized how cold it was. my hands were actually stinging. i was wearing a winter hat but i still had to stop and put my hood up. my mind wandered to that fella who was placing bets while waiting for the subway with his young son talking about how 'fuck this warm weather, shits gonna get cold again. it always does one last time before spring."

i had just walked from that bar where elliott smith wrote his amazing album XO. tom and i stopped in for some late night drinks after southpaw and before the subway. we had a few beers and noticed that o'connors had taken XO out of their jukebox. this made me feel really sad. welcome to bloomburg's new york. i looked around the bar and didn't recognize it anymore. it was never one of my favourites but now it was full of mediocre people at best. oh well, i never really liked park slope ever anyway.

we left southpaw after seabears encore and diane said she was heading home. i didn't blame her. for a friday night in brooklyn it was a rather sleepy show at times. shit, there were a few times i was wondering if it would be over soon. there were also a few times where i was totally into it as well to be honest. i think i like them. i mean, i definitely did before seeing them. they were just kind of... they need some sort of stage presence? at times while watching them i felt like i was listening to beirut and the suddenly the arcade fire and then back to beirut and then belle & sebastian. remember that scene in american beauty where the mother neighbour is all whacked out on zanax and her son is saying goodbye to her? the in between stage banter was sort of like that. the singer looked sad the whole time. i dunno... you are touring and people like your music and you are filling venues. oh well. i don't regret going to see them but i am sure as fuck glad we had a flask with us. i think this is their first ever tour so maybe they will figure it out and just get better.

we had left the ice house to head to southpaw to see seabear. i really could have easily been talked into skipping it. i was comfy and cozy and the drinks were cheap and it had been another long cold day. i like the ice house but rarely go because it is in red hook. way off the subway path. we came here because it is like a sister venue to the levee. same prices and the cans of beer come in coozis. we were actually at the levee where we met tom and we left because the crowd there is changing so quickly. it is full of new williamsburg frat boy types instead of heavy metal dudes. so sad. wow. i feel so complainy on here! that was not my intention at all. maybe it s just so cold! hahahaa.

oh well. i think i will go watch point break and fall asleep now. bank robbing surfers!

brooklyn

2010-03-25T14:03:00.001-07:00

man.
what a week. i have been waiting for the test pressings of my new 12" record to come so that i can listen to them and approve it (if all is well) so they can start making them and ship them to me before i leave on tour. they said 6 to 8 weeks and it is looking like 10. i also bought launchpad for ableton but it turns out it won't run ableton 6 and it is going to cost me $240 to upgrade. what a rip off. my landlords haven't paid the gas bill so there there is no heat or hot water either!

oh well, it hasn't been all bad. i spent a chunk of yesterday with one of the ninjasonik boys (teenwolf). i finally left the house after being home for 48+ hours without stepping outside once. i took the train over. stopped at ella for coffee and then we sat around playing one another our music. there was another guy there who was awesome but i forget his name. anyway, good times, oh yes i love them.

message:

2010-03-24T15:31:00.001-07:00

i want to relive it all with you at my side.

getting the fuck out of dodge part2

2010-03-22T16:29:00.001-07:00

so i just woke up froom a strange dream. it has been over a week since i wrote the stuff below. i wanted to finish it but life is keeping me on my toes. the dream which i just awoke from was strange and lovely and i won't go into what it was about because i don't even know where to begin. i just woke up from it and lay there thinking about how all living things are interconnected and wondering if human beings (in general) have somehow lost this connection with the rest of the living world. with other humans. with themselves. all these thoughts to get lost in for the last half hour spawned from a strange dream involving three lobsters, a korean corner store, and the quest for snacks.

anyway...

i arrived in philadelphia and her fog filled streets and made my way through them to the market east station. i was tired, cold, and hungry. the R5 train to lansdale came 25 minutes late and i had to wait for it in a sea of drunken mediocrity wearing green and reeking of booze. i went down to the end of the platform to get away from them and their drunken fighty eyes. i wasn't necessarily afraid i just didn't want to be around that lame ass north american st. patricks day bollocks. when the train came i went to the farthest point away from the staggering mass and found myself in the front of the front car. i looked out the window and for some reason thought about this one time when i was on tour and we played in knoxville tennessee at the pilot light. it was a fun rowdy night and the band we opened for hooked us up with some people to stay with so we wouldn't have to get a motel or sleep in our van or whatever. we went back to their house and when i walked into where we were staying, as much as these people were being unbelievably hospitable to us, my heart sank. there were about 17 half eaten bowls of hardened mostly eaten kraft dinner, a coffee table made of pizza boxes, bongwater everywhere, footwide burn holes in the sofa, three ninja stars stuck into various walls, and about 23 people playing with swords (yes, swords) and talking all kinds of mostly hilarious shit on anything and everything. after about three hours of partying with them the swords started going thru walls and shit was breaking everywhere. i left and went outside to sleep in the van. it was a freezing cold january but i didn't give a fuck. for some reason all i wish for right now is that i could feel that way again. the train conductor interrupted my thoughts doing his ticket collecting duty. he was one of those wonderful born and bred philly types with that quick wit, sparkle in his eyes, far too many cheesesteaks in his belly. he yelled all kinds of ridiculous things and it made the ride so much quicker than it's 55 minutes would have been at this hour.

i finally arrived at the lansdale stop and to laurens jeep almost 6 hours after leaving my house. we drove through the wet dark pennsylvania countryside under the black and cloudy night and it felt so fucking good to be around someone outside of my musical world and a distraction to everything i was running from and towards. we went to her house after a quick stop at wawa. it felt so perfect to be with her. i ate my food and we drank wine in the kitchen of her old country house right in the middle of the main street in skippack. we talked and moved into the other room and drank more wine while listening to music and told each other everything and i could feel how good it was for me and i could tell that she had things on her mind that she needed to talk with someone about and at some point a strange boy showed up and he was all alpha male but lauren and i had already created this little world of our own and it was easy to ignore him and he left and we talked some more until the sun came up and we made ourselves go to bed and i fell asleep on the floor next to a harp while watching the first rays of day peak through the blinds and the light twinkled when it ran itself across the strings and as i moved my head from side to side slowly they danced in that old room just for me.

and then afternoon and grey skies and walking and wawa and an old man who was shaking my hand the way only old awesome men can and then a voice and a girl who i haven't seen in years and reminiscing on strange sidewalks and breakfast at 4 in the afternoon followed by free drinks at the bar in the restaurant where jeffro is head chef and honey whisky and a guatemalan fellow name pablo and a hilarious bartender named erica and then talk of ghosts and then moving further. lauren is left behind at a point when she needed and wanted to be around us. it is out of my hands and i do my best to have her come with us but there is old love, an ex girlfriend vs new, and an unnecessary jealousy in the air and so i find myself on the banks of a chocolate milk brown river churning and flowing by us 3 feet high and rising. more wine and loud music and talk and sleep and when i awake on cushions on the floor of the spock river research studio about 6 feet from the river and dark gloomy clouds and a spattering of rain. slow sleepy thoughts of a couple far away people i think are my friends and a sad probable realization they are maybe not. and then coffee and her via ether and aiff files being mixed down and she says things that no one ever says and she makes me laugh and so much music and so much work and all of it so much fun.

day turns into night and night turns into day and as i flee the morning light to escape into sleep for some rest the realization of how lucky i am begins to set in again and i know everything will be ok.

getting the fuck out of dodge part1

2010-03-14T11:25:00.000-07:00

i haven't really left the house in days. maybe an hour for a walk, or one day to buy some groceries. i have been sleeping late and long. when i am not putting together shows in far off distant lands i am watching skins or season 4 of big love. i haven't been feeling great. i feel a little lonesome but at the same time i don't really want to be around anyone. i awoke really really late today because the heat was off and there has been torrential rains which made getting out from under the blankets not necessarily worth it.

i thought of this crawfish thing that i saw down south once. in new orleans. just on the sidewalk of a quiet backs street on the cusp of the french quarter. i imagined it had escaped from some crock pot somewhere. i don't know much about them. i stopped to look at him and he held his claws towards me in an aggressively defensive manner. i had no idea what to do with him and so i just watched him for a while and then left him be. i thought of him and felt sad, for surely he tried his best but became dinner for some other creature of the night. he gave it his all.

around 5 o'clock i decided to get the fuck out of my house. i made a call, packed my stuff, and got on the G train. i took it to the A and then to the F. suddenly we were told that the power was out in 4th st in manhattan and no trains would be going there. i asked for a transfer and made my way above ground and walked a few blocks to the 4 train at borrough hall. i took it into manhattan and got off at canal and walked to the chinatown bus. the 7:30 bus came at 8 o'clock and i went straight to the back and fell asleep.

in montreal they have these giant silos. i am not sure what they used to store inside them but they are massive and strangely beautiful. across the river from them in the old port there is something called a silophone. you speak into a box and the sound is sent into silo #5 and the echo is captured by microphones and rebroadcast back to you. it is a lovely yet spooky sound. i think this is fucking awesome that someone thought of doing this.

i feel disconnected for some reason. in a month i leave for iceland and then europe. i am going on a six week tour and adventure. it seems very surreal to me. i am excited to meet people again. it has been a while since i have met some genuinely good people. the last few people i met via music i wouldn't piss on if they were on fire. people like this guy comes to mind: i was standing in line for drinks at the last place we ended up on our wonderful montreal nuit blanche night. i had already noticed that there are so many people calling themselves dj's nowadays who have no idea that there is even an art to it never-mind trying to learn how to actually do it. i think that so many people just do it without bothering at all that there is a whole generation of new listeners who don't even know what mixing is. anyway, it was my turn for a drink when the fella behind me asked the bartender a question about what they had. after she replied i smiled politely and told him that the line starts behind me. he was nice enough but his friend wasn't and said 'don't mind us, we are just the dj's' to which i replied 'oh, sorry, i should have known that's what the golden aura surrounding you was for". he couldn't let up, "we are just providing your entertainment". "if shitty music and even worse mixing is what you call entertainment, then good luck with that". thankfully my drink came quickly and i was able to not devolve to his level by opening my mouth and letting out my thoughts of how long i have been djing, playing live music, travelling the world, and the people i have been fortunate enough to work with. or even worse, knock him the fuck out.

finally, we are getting close. if not for the fog i would be looking at the philadelphia skyline by now. we are crossing the benjamin franklin bridge. soon i will be in chinatown.

more soon...

blah.

2010-03-11T10:20:00.000-08:00

the american idea of work hard and you can accomplish anything is a complete and total myth.

winter lightning

2010-02-25T20:33:00.000-08:00

the sky is crazy tonight. fast angry clouds are streaking across the dark brooding sky. i am in montreal. getting over being sick. nothing too bad but i feel pretty drained energy wise. february is usually a hibernating filled month. lot's of laying low. not this year....

a certain jane flett from aberdeen via edinburgh (and dai jones) was in town for about 5 weeks and she was married at brooklyn city hall. on top of all the usual nights of celebrating on her account suddenly we were celebrating her wedding party, her wedding, her departure. the day she left was the day kiki and reimund arrived from berlin and jessica arrived from montreal. that was a lovely weekend of bars and wandering and fun. i also saw four tet somewhere in the middle of all that. great show (although i do think the opener nathan fake was a little better than four tet). i also finished everything with the album. it was a ton of work and not much sleep. also on saturday i saw my old friend tom along with clare and ed from manchester. we celebrated pretty hard starting early on in the afternoon. soon i was in a car driving to montreal. now here i am...

ice capades

2010-02-17T06:57:00.000-08:00

great night out last night. to be honest, this cold weather, a busy day, and the idea of leaving my cozy comfy house made the getting into it kind of hard. it didn't help that we started the night by going to the mardi gras party put on by L magazine at brooklyn bowl. the cranky pants side of me feels like mardi gras really is a place specific event. you know, mobil alabama (where it was invented), the gulf shores, and of course the current commander in chief of mardi gras: new orleans. it also reminded me that L magazine always seems pretty lame and it showed last night. lastly, i think i pretty much fucking hate brooklyn bowl. it is so god awfully tacky and just a big cheesefest. not even free drinks make that place fun. gutter is a million times better.

anywho. i left after about 14 minutes and went to the levee. diane and jane and chris and dan came about a half hour later. the music alternated between my bloody valentine, slayer, and the jesus & mary chain. top notch. we decided to go to breuar falls to see if there was any live music. we arrived and there was a comedy show. 95% of the time i hear a comedy show i hate it. not because i have aforementioned cranky pants on - it's just that the comedians usually suck. whoever the guy was last night though - absolutely hilarious. he had the whole crowd in the palm of his hands. everyone was laughing loud and heartily. it was fucking funny...

then we decided on somewhere else. i forget where. on our way to it though we ended up inside cyn. the music was great and we had the couch to ourselves. i was the odd man out pairing ups wise but was totally fine with that. i am not sure if i had mention in these rambles that i have finished my new record. i mean, the artwork, the layout, the mixing, the mastering, and the $2,000 to get it all put on 12" vinyl records. d.i.y. is expensive! i really don't even have this kind of money right now either! scary but exciting. so anyway, i have been toying with the idea (like many other indie musicians who have no idea what to do about releasing their music because no one wants to pay for music anymore - i saw a band the other night who had free cd's and $10 vinyl - no one knows what to do!) so i was thinking about my idea to have a free digital companion piece to my my new 8 song album on vinyl. it is pretty much already finished and i love it. i has a similar feel but a different sound. anyway, so yeah, i was weighing the pros and cons of this in my head.

yeah. we leave cyn and walk down the middle of bedford ave which is completely covered in ice. i have actually never seen roads so covered in ice. around sunset the temperature dropped and all the wet snow that had been falling for close to 24 hours but never quite sticking immediately began to freeze. the whole night on various wanderings from bedstuy to williamsburg and then into bushwick i did not see one single salt truck nor one drop of salt on the roads. it was really insane. but! it was really fun to play on. we spent about 40 minutes at the corner of berry and N.11th just running and sliding on the ice. we were even running and diving onto bellies and sliding. it was so much fun. at one point a garbage truck came buy and the guy on the back was holding onto the bumper and sliding on the ice. we called it bumper hitching when i was just a wee lad growing up in canada. people who were crossing the street were falling on their bums and cabbies were sliding everywhere. besides jane hitting her head on the ice at one point it was all so wonderfully perfect. what a great time!

bedstuy winter wonderland

2010-02-10T19:51:00.000-08:00

tonight was one of those nights where i fell in love with brooklyn all over again. there is a blizzard and everything is wonderfully quiet. it has been snowing for 24 hours straight. side streets are completely unplowed and i spent the majority of the night just wandering on them. i saw an old man making a snowman. the city has basically shut down. there is a lovely sort of excitement in the air. i stopped at a bar in bushwick and they were playing lucinda williams. it took me back to driving across america with jessica. the bartender was lovely and rough and tumble and she was genuinely interested in why i was there in the middle of a snowstorm. i told her i was celebrating the coming together of my record and she wondered why i was celebrating alone. i had no answer for her. i ate some food and drank some bourbon. then i wandered in the snow some more. it was so lovely and quiet and magical that when i finally went home i felt like a child who doesn't want to go to sleep in case he misses something.

-

i wrote this on the way home from montreal:

blah blah blogs have been light and sporadic lately. cable television in a cozy montreal apartment had much to do with that. i watched a lot of it. law & order, without a trace, all in the family, three's company, golden girls, who's the boss. although i did manage to work on the album front and back cover for my new record while watching much of that tv. right now i am in the back of a white toyota on the new york state thruway heading back to new york city. to brooklyn. to bedstuy. tim is driving, diane is in the passenger seat, loofy and i are in the back. it was a quiet and fairly uneventful week. in the best of ways. the previous weekend leading up to me going to montreal saw james apollo come back to town for a friday and saturday night show with his band. it was a bit messy drinking wise but he was top form as usual. friday was spent at the levee before hitting up a group art show for a friend of jessicas who was down from montreal. he had gone out of his way to be nice to me and ask me to go so i did but then he was pretty much a dick when we got there. suffering from that too cool for school thing that, sadly, many montrealers seem to suffer from. actually many non new yorkers who come to new york to play music, show art, or be a part of something 'cool' seem to suffer from. we left after about 15 minutes and went to see james play. it was great. the next day we had a huge brunch and another night of apollo and places and people and music. met a new friend. he is cool as fuck. andrew king. top notch. then i jumped into a car with my dog (loofy) and took a drive to montreal. and tv and music work and tv and long late night walks. no tobogganing. the only thing i had really wanted to do. bummer. i did play a loft party which was great. i have so much new unheard music that i got to sort it all out on the spot. good times! then a long walk and abandoned railroad tracks. my favourite part of the week. loofy running thru the snow in huge circles. a certain quiet and the winter light. it was gorgeous. there are some moments i could live in forever. that was one. (another earlier that week was walking in a park with a small ice rink and a giant tree). then onto a big meal at aux vivres and supplies for what seemed like a good night. somehow the larry david show was played instead and the life was sucked out of us all and we headed home sleepy, bored, and bummed out. such an unnecessary waste. on sunday we took the longest and coldest of walks thru griffinville and along the lachine canal past the grain towers and old buildings. now i am heading home and to be honest i am really happy about that....

wow.

2010-01-19T17:06:00.000-08:00

we just wrapped up all the recording for my new record. i never thought this day would come. i'd get drunk to celebrate but we've been doing that for days. for some reason i feel i should listen to anthem by leonard cohen instead. and i do.

bethany came down and we recorded her singing on the last two songs that needed it. once again she not only sang with like a champ with her beautiful voice but she came up with unbelievable melodies. jeffro behind the controls bringing it all together. whew. heavy duty.

eight new songs. gatineau. denmark. don't forget to write. cold spring. meet me in montauk. alight / alone. evergreen. on the wall. they will all be put on 10" vinyl once they have been mixed and mastered. i will spend what little money i have left in the name of d.i.y. and then we will get back together and finish the digital version of this record. a very different affair....

i took the chinatown bus to philly and hopped on the R5 to lansdale where i was picked up by one jeffro richards and his lovely girl amy ruth. we drove to his house on the perkiomen river (stopping for a wawa hoagie) and we set about getting ready for the last leg of recording by staying up until 5:30 with a few bottles of wine and a hell of a lot of laughter.

i slept on the floor of the studio merely a few feet above the river. awoke and peed off the deck. coffee. music. music. music. recording. tweaking. playing. editing. ducks floating by on the river. turn up guitar bits. edit. tweak. tweak. recording. and then winding down. nighttime. taking it easy. staying up until 4am. a lonesome pre morning look from the deck at the river and the ghost like mist floating along hauntingly. a tiny sliver of moon and a sprinkling of stars. not a sound anywhere. a heavy blanket of silence. sleep.

morning. and coffee. bethany. beautiful melodies. the lyrics written by my montreal girl. a beautiful new song. recording. editing. recording. editing. fun with cameras. tree climbing. recording. tea. wine. recording....

and then the R5 to philly. the chinatown bus to new york. the subway to brooklyn...

surprise.

2010-01-18T16:01:00.000-08:00

i am on the chinatown bus. there is a crazy man yelling obama! obama! obama! because they wont let him smoke. i just had a seriously strange, rough, yet lovely week. some of it i whined about in the last blarg. i just said goodbye to her again. she who surprised the hell out of me with a visit from montreal. she who is fantastic and rules.

i also had a visitor in the form of one morgan buck. a truly rowdy and interesting girl. we spent not nearly enough time even though she was here for a week. she was at a week long seminar on food security. i went to a panel with her one night and it was definitely interesting. i liked hearing the girl who built a farm on a greenpoint warehouse speak. she was so happy with what she was doing and had a firm grasp and love for her place in the world. the other's were definitely interesting also. except maybe the angry activist girl.

jessica says she found some of my journal entries about our road trip to be kind of sad. like, i was sad. this is strange to me. certainly some of it was just recounting the details and some of the feelings i was having. but maybe there wasn't as much joy written about as there was experienced? sometimes when travelling the road tells me secrets. sounds retarded but its true. they aren't really words. more feelings. feelings from seeing the streetlights of a small town reflect off the wet pavement; mysterious fields pass by in the dark night; candles in the windows of a modest farmhouse. i dunno, maybe those (and many more) were moments i chose not to write about? to save for myself?

so much more to say...

2010

2010-01-14T11:52:00.001-08:00

hell.

it's starting off a little rough. 2010. back in brooklyn. pretty much broke because i am investing all my money into music. a new album and 10" vinyl. that shit is costly! my rent has doubled. i am also booking a european tour and it feels like from scratch because of the demise of mossyrock. i don't want to be mad at the ex but goddamn that girl has fucked me over. i have been working on bookings during the day into the evening and drinking red wine at night. a couple of nights ago i just rode the subways by myself until 3am. last night dai's pal jane and i hid from the police along the brooklyn waterfront after sneaking into somewhere i suppose someone might think we shouldn't have been. we did our best to remind one another of how lucky we are. yesterday was a shit day for both of us so greenpoint was where we got over it. i want to sublet my place and go live in montreal with my best friend for a month or two but i can't see that happening. we (galactique) released a very bad ass 'team' album called diamond dick. i am trying my best to focus on what we accomplished on that release and not the fact that someone i lived with for 5 years hasn't bothered to even listen to it. in fact, i am trying to not think about people in general. money makes me crazy. i have none and am gambling it all. those who have it and their dreams seem to be choosing the money first. my taperecorder project is doing amazingly well music wise and i am glad i didn't put this on hold for a couple of talked about collaborative new projects that are moving at a snails pace. although bethany desperately wants to tour - sadly she may not be able to. everything seems to be up in the air at this time.

home.

2010-01-12T07:57:00.000-08:00

i am on a train hurtling through snowy farmlands watching the tiny farmhouses appear and then disappear in the distance through the blowing snow. i'm thinking about the last lovely few weeks. i am finally heading home from my christmas adventures. i am south of montreal in the flat fields of quebec. soon i will cross the border into america. into upstate new york. passing alongside cold and deep lake champlain. mere inches from it on these railroad tracks. other times a fifty foot drop from the cliff we straddle and the icy water below. snow covered mountains of vermont line the other side of the lake. then we pass thru a forest and it's bare trees before we are in broken and seemingly desolate albany where we will connect with the hudson river which will guide us right into new york city. from there i will take the A or E train (whichever comes first) to the G train (in queens or manhattan depending on wether i take the A or E). then a mere half a block walk back to my apartment. my world. my life.

the past 4 or 5 days have been lovely. ample downtime. i did work on music but there was no rushing around. i could take care of myself and this cold that has been with me for the latter half of this trip. lot's of laying around with my favourite person. it was strange at times. especially having spent a bunch of time in the south where everyone was so nice. it was the opposite in montreal. the night we arrived home we went to a restaurant at 9:30pm. the guy at the bar wouldnt even look at us while he mumbled that the kitchen had been closed for an hour already. total dick. i took a walk one night and started keeping count of how many people i passed who wouldn't look at me or say hello. 16 out of 17 people. it was creepy. i started thinking a lot about how even though i love the canadian way of life i think i americans are warmer people. especially in the south. ah well. on my way back there now. i feel good about it. home. most of the time home is with her, or my friends in toronto, or with trey in austin, or my parents house. soon i will be home home though. brooklyn.

sunday and monday

2010-01-06T14:27:00.000-08:00

we woke up around 9:30 in cleveland tenessee. some shitty amreican inn along interstate 75 about half way between chatanooga and knoxville. we drove for a while, stopped for coffee, and got a flat tire. it was so fucking cold in those tennesee mountains that it took twice as long to put on the spare donut tire as it should have. the bulk of the day was spent with me in the passenger seat or sleeping in the back while jessica hauled ass along I-81. we made great time and siwtched up a few hours south of where virginia hits west virginia before becoming maryland and then changing into pennsylvania all in a 25 minute span. we took strange backroads towards jeffro's house once we hit pennsylvania. they were gorgeous and slightly eerie. those moments i live for. we stopped at a wawa and then arrived at his new place which seemed like a strange little commune under the stars. his backyard was a river. we told some stories while listening to music. jessica fell asleep in front of the fireplace and then everyone started nodding off. i took a walk in the brutally cold night while watching and listening to the ice flowing down the middle of the river scrape against the frozen sides and a canadian goose flew overhead and honked while a dog barked in the distance and the stars twinkled overhead...

then it was morning. back in the car. driving north on 476 back to I-81. on and on. a snowstorm. the trees all covered with snow and ice. we could feel the adventuring coming to an end. we crossed the border into canada and got on the 401 west. soon we were home....

driving / new orleans / driving

2010-01-05T11:02:00.000-08:00

we woke up late on the first day of 2010. i think it was after 1. we cleaned up and ate some breakfast, drank some coffee, and said our goodbyes to trey. it pretty much sucked. none of us wanting to say farewell - all of us wishing for a few more days. we had to leave though. we had to get jessica home by monday night. so we left. we drove through the texas hills heading east on the 290 towards houston. we stopped at a shitty truck stop with a beautiful view and listened to strange sounding crickets while eating cold pizza. we drove some more passing houston and driving along the I-10 thru the texas night. we saw a beautiful moonrise and soon left texas for louisiana and its massive bridge in lake charles. we rolled the window down even though it was cold. sometimes we listened to music and sometimes we listened to silence. we stopped at a chili's and ate a new years day dinner which was paid for by a gift card that was given to trey who in turn gifted it to us. the waitress was great and gave us lovely glimpses of her life. we drove some more and soon were driving above louisiana's bayous before finally stopping at a shitty overpriced motel with no wifi and bad television reception.

we awoke pretty early and drove straight to new orleans stopping only for coffee and gasoline. we knew we only had a few hours to spare and we drove along the beautiful garden district and i smiled happily listening to how overjoyed jessica was to be there. we hung out along magazine street and ate po' boys at the st charles tavern before having a mandatory visit to the french quarter. it is so beautiful in there but i always want to get the fuck out as soon as i arrive because it seems to be filled with the most mediocre people and things that entertain people of that ilk. i feel mean saying that because i am sure that a lot of people we passed are great but in that large group within that tourist trap it is certainly hard to see it. we wandered west of the french quarter and looked around a fraction of what is definitely my favourite city in north america.

then we left. heading northwest along 59 leaving louisiana for mississipi and it's ashole state troopers who act like total assholes while giving speeding tickets for a mere 13 miles per hour over the limit. npr is our friend and soon we are in alabama and we pass thru birmingham and we actually enter georgia for 2 miles before it becomes tennessee and we drive long into the night and plan to sleep in the car but we are soon high in the tennessee mountains and it is really really cold so we pull off into shitty little towns with overpriced motels and keep going and going until we finally give up and pay too much for a freezing cold room and drift off to a television playing a show with maximum security jail drag queen lovers or something of that sort.....

austin!

2010-01-01T16:56:00.000-08:00

we awoke broken and ugly. my first thought was why the hell did i haul ass to austin to wake up feeling like this? trey took us to a mexican place for breakfast which in hind sight might not have been the best idea. we ate caso and chips and eggs and drank iced tea and went back to his house and slept for two more hours. waking up the second time was way better. as rough as i still was jessica was triple. we all drove out to mount bonnell and drank in it's beautiful views. the winding roads and all the rogue christmas tree decorations made me very happy. we then went to some other friends named leigh and derrecks house for dinner (texas chilli for the meat eaters and pizza with ranch dressing for me). we had a few drinks and played wii mario karts and wii american idol. it was really hilarious and was a thankfully mellow and great little night out.

we awoke the next morning and it was new years eve! we ate food and wandered before shopping at waterloo records (i bought goodbye and hello by tim buckley on vinyl). we left jessica at a bookstore while trey and i worked out a little bit of music and then we had dinner at a burger joint called p diddys or p terrys or terry d's. we dropped trey off at his rehearsal place and headed back to his house. i took a walk by myself along the hilltop with a view of austin and the capitol building and smiled because it finally sunk in that i was here and that i had just driven across america and then i went down a side street back to the massive whole foods and i bought myself a bottle of belhaven beer to ring in the scottish new year. after some lazing around jessica and i headed to the bar where trey's band was playing and drank cider and watched them play and told one another beautiful things and rambled and watched and listened and laughed. we rang in the new year and it was kind of funny and surreal and they played another set and i actually really liked them. from there we ended up at a rowdy house party until about 5am were we met some lovely people but mostly we just sat around and talked and music played and yelling and laughing punctuated the night and trey at one point was in the middle of a a dance orgy and...

texas!

2009-12-30T16:21:00.000-08:00

we spent the bulk of tuesday in the car doing 85 miles an hour. we awoke 18 miles outside of memphis in a motel that was a tad more expensive than we wanted to pay but we were well rested from a hot bath, the king sized bed, and benedryls. we hauled ass the whole way to austin stopping in little rock arkansas for coffee before leaving I-40 for I-30 and then stopping just outside of dallas for food and gas where we left the I-30 for I-35 south. it was snowing in dallas which seems really bizarre to me and it turned into heavy rain the further south we got. i still hauled ass thru it and we arrived at trey's house minutes before he had to leave for band practice. for some reason we decided to get good and drunk and we walked in the rain along 9th st until we hit congress where we cut down to 6th st and walked until we found shangri-la (the bar we were meeting trey at) where we consumed far more booze than we needed and jessica was too drunk by the time trey arrived and after a few stiff ones we all cabbed home and trey and i stayed up too late listening to music and drinking bourbon...

road tripping in the winter is bizarre. all the easiness of travel is taken away. there is no stopping to play in the grass, lazing around by random rivers, or saving money on motel's by sleeping in the car or under the freeway somewhere. but there is something slightly magical in the coldness. something i cant quite put my finger on. something dark and lovely. the light, the skeleton trees, the barren fields, the emptiness. just a beautifully quiet and still america.

country my ass.

2009-12-28T20:30:00.000-08:00

i am typing this from a scottish inn on canada rd 18 miles outside of memphis too tired to drive anymore and celebrating my many victories over bad tennessee drivers and a few cracker barrels that we left in the dust. i am celebrating with the champagne of beer and am really feeling the high life.

we awoke somewhat early in indiana, photographed a giant snowy cock, drank coffee, and drove to kentucky where we ate at waffle house and listened in on great conversations spoken with even more greater accents. i wanted my server to be my grandmother.

i fell asleep in the back seat and when i awoke all the snow had disappeared. when we reached tennessee the sun came out and shone for us. we stopped and drank beer at a honky tonk dive and listened to a country music band who said CMA used to mean country music association and then country music awards and now means country my ass. we drank more beer and made friends with the retired jackson county (georgia) commissioner and his wife. they were so adorable we had to by them a round. we knocked a few more back and headed west on I-40 (music highway) stopping once at cracker barrel and once again to pee on the tennessee grass.

travel time!

2009-12-27T20:49:00.000-08:00

i took a train from new york to montreal. fun and dancing and my awesome gal and then a train to montreal with broken toilets and no food and dead wifi and then jessie and kevin's house for christmas time and wobbliness and then a car and port elgin and too much food and drink and sleep....

and today she and i drove down hwy 21 along the coast of lake huron to the 402 to sarnia. we crossed a huge bridge into america and drove thru a snowstorm and now we are in a motel 6 in indiana just past fort wayne on our way to texas.

life is grand.